tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post4572234582302123391..comments2023-12-24T06:06:51.548+08:00Comments on Shin's Cancer Blog: Practically PositiveShinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12174401097883054144noreply@blogger.comBlogger89125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-26446043359420431532008-12-01T08:33:00.000+08:002008-12-01T08:33:00.000+08:00Anonymous,Yes, I do.Anonymous,<BR/><BR/>Yes, I do.Shinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12174401097883054144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-34601525019743816552008-12-01T08:32:00.000+08:002008-12-01T08:32:00.000+08:00Dear Shin,Perspective of life has to do with value...Dear Shin,<BR/><BR/>Perspective of life has to do with value system – our perception of what is important.<BR/> <BR/>Some situations can be interpreted as opportunities for learning while others view them as threats or obstacles. Some hoard wealth for selfish reasons while others use it to accomplish useful goals. <BR/><BR/>I believe what you have written on your blog has thrown light on some of the things you consider important.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-84444828602769047362008-12-01T01:59:00.000+08:002008-12-01T01:59:00.000+08:00Anonymous,My initial intention when setting up thi...Anonymous,<BR/><BR/>My initial intention when setting up this blog was to keep overseas family and friends up-to-date on my condition. <BR/><BR/>Since then, it's evolved into a place where I can write down my thoughts so that Toby and Josie can have some insight into who their mother was. <BR/><BR/>As an unintended side-effect, this blog has become a place for people, particularly those who have been touched by cancer in some way, to share their thoughts.<BR/><BR/>Do I want my kids to have a particular perspective towards life? That's a big question. Can you be more specific?Shinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12174401097883054144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-16665892935842735392008-12-01T01:47:00.000+08:002008-12-01T01:47:00.000+08:00Dear Shin,I may not fully appreciate your intentio...Dear Shin,<BR/><BR/>I may not fully appreciate your intention in setting up this blog. This blog has reached many, and various individuals' experiences have also definitely enriched me in seeing how people respond.<BR/><BR/>Your children will be reading this blog when they grow up. That is your intention, isn't it? You want them to have a particular perspective towards life?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-48662770189254054862008-12-01T00:41:00.000+08:002008-12-01T00:41:00.000+08:00Anonymous,I don't quite understand your question. ...Anonymous,<BR/><BR/>I don't quite understand your question. <BR/><BR/>You'd like to know how much longer I can keep writing this blog before it becomes irrelevant and useless to my kids?<BR/><BR/>I'd say... until I'm no longer physically or mentally capable of writing my thoughts down on this blog.Shinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12174401097883054144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-65647177555782572602008-12-01T00:38:00.000+08:002008-12-01T00:38:00.000+08:00Dear Shin,I wonder how this blog can contribute to...Dear Shin,<BR/><BR/>I wonder how this blog can contribute to you as you meant it to be for your children.<BR/><BR/>How useful can this blog be for your children?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-9656412766432507602008-11-24T15:17:00.000+08:002008-11-24T15:17:00.000+08:00Anonymous,That's about the horse, right? When I w...Anonymous,<BR/><BR/>That's about the horse, right? When I was a young girl, I read every horse book there was and this was one of my favorites, although I can't even remember now what it was about. But ALL American girls read this book - it's almost a rite of passage.Shinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12174401097883054144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-48737414160835027862008-11-24T15:15:00.000+08:002008-11-24T15:15:00.000+08:00Dear Shin,I can see that you are always busy at th...Dear Shin,<BR/><BR/>I can see that you are always busy at the computer dealing with all the in-coming blog responses. Do take time for sufficient rest and time with the children. <BR/><BR/>Just want to share a book that I have read: Black Beauty. I hope this book will be an inspiration to your children. A real classic to keep. It describes human flaws such as drunkenness, neglect, and pride but also portrays fine human traits such as kindness and integrity.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-87580884906428268612008-11-20T11:36:00.000+08:002008-11-20T11:36:00.000+08:00R,I had similar experiences after my daughter died...R,<BR/><BR/>I had similar experiences after my daughter died. I think many people simply don't know what to say so they choose to avoid the situation completely. This, in turn, can leave the sufferer feeling very isolated. <BR/><BR/>There are, however, those who are misinformed and almost fear you are contagious in some way... that by being with you they can be subjected to the same bad luck. I know that sounds a bit strange to many who haven't been through the same experiences as you and I have, but sadly, it does happen that way sometimes! <BR/><BR/>My absolute best friend of many years hasn't spoken to me since the day my daughter died - not ONE word! I have since learned through a mutual friend that she didn't understand SIDS and with her own child, "didn't want to risk it"! How's that for friendship! <BR/><BR/>My advice to anyone fearing a situation either because they don't understand what the sufferer wants/needs or are worried about their own safety is TALK to them. It's ok to not understand but it's better if you try to. ;-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-18474176772275205262008-11-20T10:59:00.000+08:002008-11-20T10:59:00.000+08:00'R',I wonder if your family and friends were takin...'R',<BR/><BR/>I wonder if your family and friends were taking their cues from you. Maybe they didn't talk about it and stayed away from you because they thought you didn't want to talk about it. And because they didn't know how to handle it, they just stayed away?Shinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12174401097883054144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-64325568969924196502008-11-20T10:55:00.000+08:002008-11-20T10:55:00.000+08:00I was too cool for my own good when I was diagnose...I was too cool for my own good when I was diagnosed with cervical cancer at the age of 24. There were no tears, no anger, no fear... But what happened after that really puzzles me even till today...<BR/><BR/>Family became especially quiet around me and pretended nothing had happen (or were they actually the ones in denial?) Friends left, one by one, and the last words I heard from them were, "Take care." I don't understand why they did what they did.<BR/><BR/>For a moment, I felt like a discarded spare part but I was too proud to ask for any kind of attention. I was practically friendless for years but I moved on.<BR/><BR/>Years have passed and I'm now "cleared". Friends who had vanished suddenly called. How strange is that?<BR/><BR/>This experience has made me realize that it's harder to accept your loved ones' reactions than the cancer itself.<BR/><BR/>Wish you well and a happy belated birthday!<BR/><BR/>'R'Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-69968197127394295122008-11-17T22:55:00.000+08:002008-11-17T22:55:00.000+08:00ET,That is excellent news! I hope this keeps up. ...ET,<BR/><BR/>That is excellent news! I hope this keeps up. Stay strong!Shinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12174401097883054144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-22628145859155708072008-11-17T20:16:00.000+08:002008-11-17T20:16:00.000+08:00Hi Shin,How are you today?I have good news to shar...Hi Shin,<BR/><BR/>How are you today?<BR/><BR/>I have good news to share for my CT scan <BR/>1)No more lump on the left breast <BR/>2)Liver marginally smaller again with no new lesion seen. <BR/>3)Same finding for Bones on T6 & L2as per previous report.<BR/><BR/>I am off chemo Gemzar and Paclitaxel.<BR/><BR/>Maintainence treatment<BR/>1)Starting Tamoxifen tomorrow on daily basic. <BR/>2)Zometa monthly - starting on 1 Dec 08<BR/>3)Avastin monthly (if it is able to maintain good result,avastin will be off after 6 months)<BR/><BR/>Also, headache is still at very mild level. Will not go for lumbar puncture.<BR/><BR/>I will keep you update on my progress again.<BR/><BR/>Wish you a good night sleep...<BR/><BR/>Regards<BR/>ETAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-70565617718971153642008-11-14T17:11:00.000+08:002008-11-14T17:11:00.000+08:00What do you mean by being spiritual and not religi...What do you mean by being spiritual and not religious ? This is vague indeed.<BR/> I heard messages from a man who preached positive thinking and optimism. After listening to him for some time, I feel a certain emptiness and hollowness. The reason is because this positive thinking apart from truth and relationship to the Creator and His purposes....is rather dissatisfying. However, we have the choice to think on what is pure, just, right and to reject thoughts that tends towards self-destructive behaviour. Our mind is either a treasure house where we put things that are RIGHT or a garbage dump -fill with trash that enters through the eye-gate.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-61345198203697414512008-11-13T16:42:00.000+08:002008-11-13T16:42:00.000+08:00Dear Shin,I am not religious but I am very spiritu...Dear Shin,<BR/><BR/>I am not religious but I am very spiritual. If you have read Kubler-Ross books, you are probably ready for whatever is to come. With that knowledge, your mind will relax better and subconsciously, you will be at peace to fight your illness. Our mind is a creative and powerful organ. Positive thoughts create positive energy and negative thought creates negative energy that affect our body. Anger, worries, doubts, greed and depression are example of negative energy which are very destructive. Serenity, love, compassion and meekness create positive protective aura around you and your love ones. I know it is difficult for your situation, but if you can bring more laughter and fun at this moment to your family and the surrounding, it will go a long way heal the body and the mind of those you touch as well as yourself.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-80247223012299166602008-11-12T22:36:00.000+08:002008-11-12T22:36:00.000+08:00Anonymous,Thanks for your concern, but the Dexamet...Anonymous,<BR/><BR/>Thanks for your concern, but the Dexamethasone I'm taking for my lungs causes insomnia. I tried taking sleeping pills but they didn't work, and I really don't want to put any more pills into my body than I need to. But I will try to go to bed earlier. I keep saying that...Shinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12174401097883054144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-67002280093171453782008-11-12T22:34:00.000+08:002008-11-12T22:34:00.000+08:00Dear Shin,I agree with you about psychology. I am ...Dear Shin,<BR/><BR/>I agree with you about psychology. I am wary of this branch of knowledge and have dropped this course of study after the first year at University. We should distinguish what is reality (truth) as against falsehood. DISCERNMENT AND SOUND JUDGEMENT.....<BR/><BR/>Do sleep early as I notice that you answer some of the comments even till 12.00 a.m.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-86553331660190695672008-11-12T22:32:00.000+08:002008-11-12T22:32:00.000+08:00Ronnie Ng.No wonder that didn't make any sense to ...Ronnie Ng.<BR/><BR/>No wonder that didn't make any sense to me. I guess I assumed that a patient would do enough investigation into his own diagnosis (scans, blood work, etc.) as well as outside research to make such denials a moot issue.Shinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12174401097883054144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-48436011511983157652008-11-12T22:29:00.000+08:002008-11-12T22:29:00.000+08:00Shin,"Deny it" refers to "deny having been told (b...Shin,<BR/><BR/>"Deny it" refers to "deny having been told (by the doctor) that I have cancer", "deny the methodology of the medical assessment", "deny that I have cancer, by telling myself that those symptoms are due to trivial/chronic illnesses like indigestion, gastric pain, etc..." , "deny myself proper medication", etc...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-62062057830437506592008-11-12T20:25:00.000+08:002008-11-12T20:25:00.000+08:00Happy Birthday To You! Take good care and you will...Happy Birthday To You! Take good care and you will be alrightAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-5886196303545456712008-11-12T20:24:00.000+08:002008-11-12T20:24:00.000+08:00Ronnie Ng.Sorry, chemo brain here. In this sentenc...Ronnie Ng.<BR/><BR/>Sorry, chemo brain here. In this sentence, what does the "it" refer to?<BR/><BR/>"If I hadn't gotten cancer, would I, having the disease which I now have, choose to deny it?"Shinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12174401097883054144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-87812617593253575282008-11-12T20:21:00.000+08:002008-11-12T20:21:00.000+08:00[SHIN QUOTE]Ronnie Ng,I don't understand this sent...[SHIN QUOTE]<BR/>Ronnie Ng,<BR/>I don't understand this sentence that you wrote: <BR/><BR/>"If I hadn't gotten cancer, would I, having the disease which I now have, choose to deny it?"<BR/><BR/>If I had NOT gotten cancer, would I choose to deny it now that I DO have cancer? That doesn't make sense to me. Am I missing something here?<BR/>[SHIN UNQUOTE]<BR/><BR/>Shin,<BR/><BR/>by "DENIAL", i meant we have this inherent tendency of not being able to see things the way they really are, of having difficulty in coming to terms with reality... cuz when reality is too painful to bear, we just distort it until it's bearable...<BR/><BR/>Perhaps i should rephrase that sentence to: "If I had NOT gotten cancer, would I try to FOOL MYSELF now that I DO have cancer?"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-9584138819867262782008-11-12T20:02:00.000+08:002008-11-12T20:02:00.000+08:00No problem. I don't feel offended at all about al...No problem. I don't feel offended at all about all the bashing... even though I do feel bad because instead of helping my teacher (his name is Chuck Spezzano) spread his good name, I seem to have tarnished his reputation... haha ; )<BR/><BR/>But you reminded me that this is also your issue, not mine, so I guess it is enough that I gave my best shot at it. ; ) It wasn't a great shot, but it was my best shot at that given time. ; )<BR/><BR/>I am glad you are not upset. I sincerely wish you well! ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-20984130910036571962008-11-12T11:37:00.000+08:002008-11-12T11:37:00.000+08:00Angel,Please don't feel bad. I wasn't upset at yo...Angel,<BR/><BR/>Please don't feel bad. I wasn't upset at you because I know your intentions were good. <BR/><BR/>What bothers me is the field of psychology and therapists in particular. I think there is no profession more dangerous than psycho-therapy. Unlike doctors and lawyers who can destroy your body or your finances, a therapist can mess with your head and emotions. <BR/><BR/>I have seen too many friends driven to low self-esteem, dependency, even suicide, due to bad advice from therapists. I have to admit my distaste for psychologists and therapists is even stronger than that for religious extremists and proselytizers. <BR/><BR/>But again, this is my issue, not yours. Your intentions were good, and your story about your grandfather helps me better understand where you're coming from. (A reminder to me to read the "bubble" over a person's head. See previous post, "Personal Bubbles".)<BR/><BR/>Hope you aren't too offended by my bashing of psychology.Shinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12174401097883054144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5650979411395789660.post-11366217624125037272008-11-12T11:24:00.000+08:002008-11-12T11:24:00.000+08:00Hi Shin,Very sorry if you feel that it is insultin...Hi Shin,<BR/><BR/>Very sorry if you feel that it is insulting. I just wanted to share what I learnt with you because I thought it might help you.<BR/><BR/>Many apologies if it has hurt or upset you in any way. Will you forgive me? : )<BR/><BR/>My grandfather passed away because of cancer. I don't even know what sort of cancer because we refused to cut him up after his death to do an autopsy.<BR/><BR/>That is one of my moving forces to learn more about anything - to be able to help people have better health or lead better lives because I was really helpless during that period. It felt bad to watch him die slowly. It felt even worse to pray for him to die quickly so that he could have an early release.<BR/><BR/>Whenever I learn something new, like a piece of health info or something in the psychology course I was telling you about that seemed to help/cure cancer (I have seen it happen many times), I think to myself, "If I had only known that earlier, maybe my grandfather would not have died!"<BR/><BR/>Actually, I was also apprehensive when I wanted to press the PUBLISH button because I am also aware that at this stage, all you need is just lots of support, lots of friendship and love. Really you have enough people trying to advise you what to do. : ) I am sure I am not the only one.<BR/><BR/>I am also aware it is probably hard to stomach that theory at your current stage because I was trying to feed you info I learnt over two years progressively just all within a few paragraphs. <BR/><BR/>I just kind of wanted to quickly get straight to the point to share what I felt was most helpful to you so I skipped steps. <BR/><BR/>I guess you could say that I was thinking more about ME and what I wanted to do and achieve than thinking more about YOU and your needs and feelings even though I said I wanted to help you. It is no wonder you got upset.<BR/><BR/>I am sorry I was a bad friend in this aspect.<BR/><BR/>I would still like to offer whatever help/friendship or support I can to you ; ) Not because I think you need help but because I admire your guts and your tenacity ; ) I do want to be your friend : )<BR/><BR/>My teacher has a doctorate in counselling pyschology and has 36 years of counselling and coaching experience. It was through his coaching and counselling over the years that he did his research and came up with the figures of 4% and 96%. How though, I have absolutely no idea because I am not the one who did the research. : )<BR/><BR/>Using his research, he came up with various theories and models and using these models, I have seen many people get better relationships in life, better careers, recovery from various chronic illnesses, etc.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com