Incommunicado

I just thought I should let all of you very kind and thoughtful people know why I've been so unresponsive in my communications lately, on this blog and in my e-mails.

I have not been doing so well lately. We have put a tube in the lining of my right lung to drain it - we got out one liter the first day, 600 ml on the second day, and 450 so far today, which was the third day.

The draining has had to stop each time before the doctors' estimates for the day's quota, due to the pressure it's causing on the lung. The ideal is to try to get up to 800 ml per day, but be unable to get that much each day. Being unable to get that much would indicate that the fluid is slowing down and the lining of the lung would eventually reattach itself to the lung. But at the rate we're going, it doesn't seem to be happening.

Meanwhile, I'm in terrible distress because I'm having the worst breathing problems I've had so far and can't spend time with the kids for fear of having an anxiety attack that would scare them.

I'm registered for a home hospice care service so once a week, a doctor and a nurse come to examine me and get an update on my progress. These doctors and nurses are just amazing. They are keeping me alive, and keeping both my faith in medical science and my faith in humanity alive.

We've begun to talk about whether we should move me into in-patient hospice care.

Please don't be offended if I don't answer your comments or e-mails. I can feel your good wishes. And my friend, Michelle, has flown back up from Sydney (she'd only just returned home last week when we thought I was improving) to be with me and she is helping me go through my blog comments with me. So thanks again to all of you who are sticking by me through all of this. I know I have to do it, but you certainly don't.