Thursday, November 8, 2007

Getting Ready for Bad News (9:00 a.m.)

I have a meeting with my oncologist this afternoon to go over the results of my PET/CT scan. We’ll find out what’s happening with the tumors and whether the chemotherapy is working.

I know some people say it’s negative thinking to prepare for bad news, but I think it’s being practical. I’ve always prepared for worst-case scenarios, so that when they don’t come to pass, I’ll be pleasantly surprised.

That’s why I took it so well when we learned my cancer had come back. Tony was very shaken up. He’d been prepared for good news, so he was hit hard when the bad news came. Even my oncologist was shaken up. She’d been expecting good news as well.

So this is my armor. I’m ready for anything. Well, maybe not anything. I’m not ready for the doctor to tell me I have a few months to live. But that’s such an unlikely scenario that I’m not even thinking about that.

This is what I’m preparing for: the chemotherapy has shrunk some of my tumors but some new ones have popped up. There seems to be some kind of mass in my brain but we can’t be certain what it is, so we’ll do an MRI to find out.

This is what I’m hoping for: the chemotherapy has worked wonders and most of the tumors are completely gone. I’ll continue with the current chemotherapy and we’ll do another scan in three months’ time.

I’ll be back to the Blog later today with the results!

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