Night-time Thoughts

I woke up in the middle of the night last night and couldn't get back to sleep. I lay awake for hours in the dark thinking about... Death? No. Cancer? No.

Here are some of the thoughts that kept me awake last night:

1) When Josie was a newborn, Tony and I were watching her sleep one day when she suddenly started making a strange sound. Oh no! Was she choking? Having a seizure? I panicked. Tony was more clever. "She's LAUGHING, Shin!" And she was. Just days old and there she was, chuckling at something in her sleep. And then Tony told me something about myself that I'd never known: I laugh in my sleep. That's one of my favorite things about me.

2) Josie and I were watching the Cinderella movie recently and when we got to the part where she tries on the glass slipper, Josie leapt out of her seat and clapped her hands while jumping up and down and squealing with delight, "It FITS! It FITS!" She'd seen this movie several times before and read the story dozens of times. Still, she was SO excited! When I told Tony about this, he said, "That's YOU!" That's one of the most flattering things a guy has ever said to me.

3) One of Toby's favorite games lately is to cuddle up to me and say, "You be the mommy cat and I'll be the baby cat. Meow!" That's the whole game. He does this half a dozen times a day. Yesterday, he varied it with, "You be the mommy dog and I'll be the baby dog. Arf!"

4) When Josie was about Toby's age, she also liked to play pretend and she'd say to me, "You be the mommy and I'll be the baby." Hmmm...

5) Another pretend game Josie liked to play when she first started school was, "You be the teacher and I'll be the children." "'Children' is plural, more than one, and there's only one of you," I said. She stopped to think for a few seconds, "Okay, I'll be the teacher and YOU be the children."

6) Last year, Josie's teacher told me she asked the class what "delicate" meant. Josie raised her hand and said, "'Delicate' is a synonym for 'fragile'." Then she explained what a synonym was. That's my girl!

7) Yesterday, Toby asked me if I pee standing up. I told him boys stand and girls sit. He said, "Daddy and Toby stand; mommy and Josie sit." Then I tested his gender ID skills, asking him about various storybook characters and stuffed toys. Hence, I discovered that in Toby's mind, Josie's bedtime teddy, Pink Baby, is a girl (as expected), but Toby's bedtime teddy, Blue Baby, is also a girl. Either that or ALL teddy bears sit, whatever their gender.

8) Yesterday, I was telling Josie about something very sad that had happened and Toby came running up to me, grabbed my face in his hands and asked, "You happy Mommy?" I was stumped. I didn't want to say I was happy because I'd just been talking to Josie about something sad, but I didn't want to tell Toby I was NOT happy, because I didn't want him to confuse my overall state of happiness with my present mood. So I hemmed and hawed for a few seconds and said, "Well, I'm GENERALLY happy, but right now I'm a little sad because I'm telling Josie a sad story." Boy, I can't remember the last time I was so stumped for an answer. Discussions about religion and the meaning of life are MUCH easier!

So picture me, lying in the dark at 2 a.m., smiling to myself, trying desperately NOT to laugh because that would just start a coughing fit that would be the end of me. This is not the behavior of a woman dying of cancer. Something is definitely wrong with me... ; )

[If I remember more funnies from my sleepless night, I'll add them to this Blog entry later in the day.]