Saturday, April 26, 2008

Bad News, But Good Mood

Blood test results came back showing that my tumor markers have gone way up. That, along with my symptoms, is enough proof for my doctor that the current chemo regimen is not working, despite what yesterday's chest X-ray and liver ultrasound have shown.

One word about tumor markers. These are substances in the blood or urine that can sometimes indicate the presence of cancer. My tumor markers have been within normal limits throughout the last two years of having cancer, so I never took these markers very seriously.

I worry that so many people rely on these tumor markers to tell them that they do NOT have cancer, despite having symptoms. And they don't go for further testing that could find their cancer early.

But since my tumor markers have always been low, even while cancer was running rampant in my body, and now they've actually decided to show up on these blood tests to match what my symptoms are telling me, i.e., that my cancer is progressing, I think I can take them seriously now.

I'll see my oncologist tomorrow to discuss options for starting a new chemo regimen since this current one isn't working.

I suppose I should be devastated, or at least a bit bummed. But I'm not. I have my hubby at home, my kids are eating their dinner, my mother-in-law (from the U.S.) is in the kitchen making lasagna, and two of my dearest friends are here from Australia keeping me and my kids happy, fed, and entertained.

I'm sitting up right now, drinking tea, eating veggie sticks and chit-chatting while writing this Blog. I'm breathing just fine (yay steroids!) and my coughing and pain are down to a minimum with yesterday's boost of codeine.

I realize this news is no good and I'm running out of options and time. I'll worry about that tomorrow. For now, I'm enjoying the fruit smoothie my friend Shelly has just handed to me. Yum.


Anonymous said...

Was anxiously waiting to know your blood test results. You are not devastated but I am saddened by this news.

Hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

Anonymous said...

Hi, this is nothing to do with you or your cancer, but just had to share this --
My boys wanted a "scary thing" tonight so we turned all the nights out and put some candles out, I then told them about how we had this old house in England(it was 12th century, and my Mum still owns some of it) - I was brought up there. Then, Simon comes up with this amazing story about some little boy - I can't tell you otherwise it will not be fair to Simon. Amazing!! He is such an amazing guy!!

E xx

Yvonne said...

Shin, you are such a special woman. Am continue praying for you to have the strength. Love you, my dear.

Lois Ann said...

I know your Mom-in-law and your well word-painted picture of you within your loving surroundings supports my belief in LIFE. Life is loving and being loved and you have it all. You are supremely given and you supremely give. I also know that God is amongst you all. I once knew someone in your place who saw 3 Angels around her room. Yours are there too, I'm sure.

Anonymous said...

Hello lovely, can't sleep and been thinking about you. I have had just a smidgeon of what you've been going through - a bit of breathlessness here and there, I started to panic - I think the panic makes it worse?? It's awful, poor you. I was thinking about how it must make you feel and I am full of sympathy, esp after having the mouth ulcers last week with HMFD -
I started to get that breathlessnes at the hairdressers today, I thought I was going to collapse in front of them, it might have been the most dramatic hair cut out. I couldn't enjoy my head massage, all I was thinking was "please don't let me faint in here, please don't let me faint". I thought about what you must be going through day by day and I took a few deep breaths and a bottle of water and I was okay, but shaking. I take my hat off to you, it's so awful feeling that you can't breathe, and even if you can, your body might do something awful, like give out on you. At least, I hope, I don't have cancer, just run down.

Love you.

E x