Monday, October 13, 2008

Mini-Me

Tony and I had a parent-teacher conference with Josie's teacher last week. At the end of the meeting, I asked her teacher what made Josie stand out from the other kids. Her answer? Josie's inner strength. She said that Josie was confident and independent. If somebody teased her, she wouldn't crawl under a table to cry; she'd just go off and do her own thing.

I was so proud. If there's anything about my personality I want Josie to inherit, it's inner strength and self-confidence. I think these traits are especially important for a girl, and probably even more so for a girl growing up without a mother.

Think about yourself. Which of your personality traits would you like your kids to inherit and which would you rather they didn't have?

17 comments:

Ivan said...

Hi Shin - sorry, this is not relevant to your posting, but I wanted to ask you if you have heard of a chemo drug called Avastin? I've just read an article about it saying that clinical trials have shown that Avastin, when taken during chemotherapy, can prolong the lives of women with advanced breast cancer. The drug was also used to treat colon and lung cancer. The article also mentioned Paul Mainwaring who was the oncologist that we spoke to initially about your treatment.

Talk soon xxxxxx

Helen said...

Dear Shin,

For sure, your daughter also inherited your good looking...so does your son.

Reading your this blog, I can feel that how you so proud of your girl.

You are still in my thougt and prayer.

Take care,
Helen

Anonymous said...

Hey Shin,

Personality trait - I'm black and white, there is no in between. There are good and bad things about this- I choose to focus on the good things - I don't 'fluff around' when I have to tell people something. Anyways, I think my elder daughter is already inheriting this. We baptised our youngest not too long ago and my elder daughter went up to the priest and asked "Why are you wearing that silly dress Mr Priest? You are not a girl" - he was still wearing his microphone so it echoed around the church for all to hear - black and white !!!

Dan

Shin said...

Ivan,

Thanks for your comment. I'm on Avastin now. Avastin and Ixempra together. I've only had one dose of this combination, so we don't know yet whether it's working or not. We might have to wait another month or so before we can see if I'm having any response.

Shin said...

Dan,

That's a funny story - one for the journal!

Anonymous said...

Dear Shin,

I totally agree with you that a girl who has inner strength and self-confidence will stand herself in good stead as she grows up. ( perhaps more so if she's not able to grow up with mommy around )

You may want to record some mommy's words of advice so she'll have a tanglible record of your voice too...

Stay strong.

Anonymous said...

Hi Shin,
Awwwww how proud must you have been of Josie. What a star girl.
Good question....what traits would I like the kids to inherit.....or more often than not in my case, not inherit!
Justin and I are both sensitive people so really they have no chance of being tough nuts! They both get upset if they see animals in books without their parents and hate it if they see people sad. Part of me loves this about them, but I would also like them to develop a thicker shell, but hey they are only 4 and 2 so maybe there is time!
So far, both seemed to have developed a love of books which is definitely me, although to be fair Justin is an avid reader too. Tilly is the little drama queen and loves to put on a show.....that was me all over as a child. I hope she can keep her confidence and self belief. Finn is a mini Justin. Shy and very sporty. They are two peas in a pod.
Daisy.......? Well she is not even 3 months so hard to say but she is the happiest baby in town.........how wonderful if she could stay like that. Apparently I was a happy bunny as a baby and am still one of life's optimists. I can see the good side in almost any situation.
But the over riding thing I think my children have inherited, and I know it all comes from my mother, is the ability to love. They are such loving children. They willingly offer cuddles and kisses to all of us and spontaneously declare that they love us. This is how I grew up, being told how loved I was.
With much love
Sasha xxxx

Shin said...

Sasha,

I loved reading that about your kids. It put a big smile on my face. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

It was good to do Shin, thanks for asking the question. F and T had been whining and driving me up the wall so was actually good for me to think actually they aren't all that bad!
Sasha xxxx

lisacc said...

I don't have kids yet, but I all I would really care about was that they were kind. Kindness rules out a lot of other bad traits anyway - kind people don't steal, cheat, lie (except white lies which don't count!) - and it is the only thing that matters. Lovingkindness.

Shin said...

Lisacc,

In my cynical twenties, I would have thought what you said about kindness was idealistic and silly. But now that I'm older and wiser, I realize how ignorant my cynicism really was. I'm glad I've lived long enough and learned enough to see that and pass it on.

Anonymous said...

I would like Skylar to inherit my sensitivity towards others and a do good attitude. I just can't help myself but I just keep trying to be good and kind. And when I'm misunderstood for my intentions, that's when it hurts the most. I realize in life, people especially those who've been hurt in their lives just don't see life the way I do. I won't change. Like Black/White, I'm just Mother T. Can't help it.

Miss you,
T

Shin said...

T,

Being misunderstood for our good intentions is a painful thing. It turns some of us into bitter, resentful cynics who give up on even bothering to do anything good again.

But that's for the weak. It's so much easier to be pessimistic and cynical. It's so much easier to give up on people. It's so much easier, and sometimes more fun, to think nasty things about other people. I know, because that was me in my twenties.

Now that I've grown up a bit, I've taken up acting like a good person, hoping that soon, the acting will turn into reality. I can only keep trying... ; )

Anonymous said...

Hi Shin,
I'll never forget the time in Timor when you bought a bunch of hungry street kids boxes of sandwiches and chips, and then scolded them for not cleaning up when they were done with the meal. So very kind and so very Shin! Compassionate but tough. I don't have kids, but if I ever do, I'd want them to be like that.
Lynn

Shin said...

Lynn,

I'd forgotten all about that! I didn't know you were there when I did that. I thought I was on my own with those kids.

Now that I think of it, I was pretty silly. What are the chances that street kids will care about littering? But I do these silly things anyway. That's just me.

Anonymous said...

Shin,
I wasn't there when you bought the sandwiches, but you told me you scolded the kids and I remember laughing about it. I think you must have made their day. No one ever gave those kids a second glance, but you did!

Lynn

Anonymous said...

Hi Shin,
Wish for all the mighty in heaven (in all religion)showered blessings to you and your family. You're a powerful mum. May I suggest you diy a scrapbook or digital photostory? Stay positive!