First, I'd like to thank those of you who are regular readers of this blog for your encouragement and your participation in some interesting discussions we've had here. Your words of support and the knowledge that I've had some positive impact on you have helped sustain me and made me feel like I'm doing something useful with the time I have left.
Unfortunately, due to my health and the increasing number of comments I've been receiving, I'll have to change a few rules for the use of this blog, as follows:
1) I'll read every comment I receive, but I won't be able to publish or respond to all of them. If you find that your comment has not been published, please don't take it personally. Please know that I'm grateful for every word of support and encouragement I receive from you, and although I'd like to thank each one of you with a personal response, it's become rather difficult for me to do that now. I just want you to know that your kind words DO mean a great deal to me, and they'll mean a lot to my children after I'm gone and they read this blog their mother has left behind for them.
2) From now on, your comments will be edited for clarity and brevity. This is to help other readers of the blog understand your ideas more clearly and keep your opinions from getting lost in the rambling that many of us tend to fall into when talking about something emotionally charged (I speak for myself here). I have to confess, also, that I'm an old fogey and am not quite hip to the phone text abbreviations and other modern lingo that some of the younger readers of this blog use in their comments. To help myself and others of my generation, I'll do my best to translate such cryptic lingo, but if I can't understand it, I'm afraid I won't be able to publish it. So please humor me. Besides, remember that I have tumors in my brain - there's that Cancer Card!
Thanks so much for your understanding and for continuing to contribute to this blog. You say my blog is helping you in many ways... you have no idea how much all of you are helping me.
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134 comments:
I don't watch Channel 8 so I have no idea what ad everyone on the previous post was referencing.
Has your readership gone ballistic? ; )
If, as you said, you draw strength from your audience and your interaction with your readers, then I'm glad you're pulling in new eyeballs :))
Shin, thank you very much for setting up this blog and sharing your life with everyone. It's an awesome blog that you're leaving behind not JUST for your kids but for all of us too.
Rie,
I don't watch Channel 8 either, but I will for the first time tonight.
It's the Chinese channel here in Singapore. But since neither I nor my friends who were in the film speak Chinese, it will be subtitled so both Mandarin and English speakers will be able to understand it.
By the way, the reason they did this film was because of my blog. The producer had been reading my blog for a while and she decided it was worth doing a documentary about the blogger behind it.
I pointed out that I don't speak Chinese and that her audience might not really connect with me and my American background. I suggested several other women I know who are also breast cancer survivors but are Singaporean Chinese and speak the language.
But she was really interested in me and my blog. So maybe "ballistic" is the wrong word, but this blog has definitely turned into something much larger than I'd originally intended.
Shin,
I wanna hug this producer!!
Mandy
Hi,
I read your blog and am really very proud of you, though I do not know you. I believe God has reasons for whatever each one of us goes through in life, what we do, what we get and what we become. I am not a very godly person, but I think this is the basic belief that all of us have. I pray that God will be good to you and your family. Amen.
Dear Shin,
I am learning so much from you. All this time, I thought I was the only one pondering our limited life span and mortality.
In you, I see a fighter. In you, I see a person who possesses the courage to stare at her own mortality eyeball to eyeball and be utterly truthful about it enough to share.
That, to me, is uncommon valor.
Do take time to rest. I am cutting down on my controversial comments.
I really don't want to say goodbye to you.
In fact, I really hate it. I just want Shin to get well.
FL
Francis Lim,
You, too, have earned my respect because although we disagree across a huge divide, you are open enough to have the discussion without personal insults and with good humor. I appreciate that.
I'm surprised you thought you were the only person pondering mortality. There are many philosophers and theologians who could open your mind to different views of life and spirituality. A Google search for "Christianity" could get you started on a long road to thinkers on both sides of the divide.
Hi Shin,
I just watched 星期二特写:生死一线-抗癌心路历程 Tuesday Report: In The Face Of Death. I feel so touched,& couldn't help,but to search for your blog & after reading...I wanted to say: Jia you! :)
Hi Shin!
I was very touched after watching the TV programme featuring you. Even though I'm only 16 years old, I really admire you and I will look upon you as a role model. You're very different from many other cancer patients as you stay positive all the time, and you deal with it just fine. Your children will definitely grow up having a bright future ahead them. I hope you will continue to fight this battle and I believe many people are supporting you behind your back. Take Care!
I happened to turn to Channel 8 and saw your interview. Didn't know about you until today, but I read through your blogs from 2006.
Some of us are surely getting cancer someday. If it is me, I will remind myself to go down fighting like you.
It may sound a bit off here but I really feel like congratulating you.
Today, I watched the documentary showed in Channel 8.. You are a brave lady..
My english is not that good.. So just want to say this in chinese han yu pin yin.. JIAYOU!~
You have inspired people out there who might be in the lowest period of their lifes with your courage and many more..
Thank you!~
Dearest Shin,
Thanks to the producer for the program on Channel 8 tonight. I am still teary as I type. I am a mother of two. There is so much I learn from you. Thank you Shin for the blog.
Let's pray for a miracle. It does happen as I have experienced it with my 4-year-old when she was born. God can change his mind.
Rest well and please kiss Toby and Josie for me.
Hi Shin,
I just watched the documentary about you on Channel 8 and it prompted me to read your blog. You have shown GREAT COURAGE. I was crying when I was watching it but you never cried on it. I can't imagine how I would deal with everything if I were in your shoes. Get well soon! I will pray for you.
Hi Shin,
You are truly an inspiration and a symbol of strength to all cancer survivors out there. I wish you the best of health from the bottom of my heart.
Shin,
Jia You!!!!!
You might have heard this in Beijing Olympic.
There isn't any word to translate in English. However, it means "add fuel" so that we have the power and energy to go further.........
jia you, jia you, jia you ;)
Shin,
Thanks for sharing your valuable lessons in life with us. Your courage in handling life's struggles really touches and inspires me.
Just want to share this with you...You are the mighty oak.
A Millimeter Growth: It is not the giant leaps and monumental breakthroughs that change our lives, but the minute changes that we make happen everyday that ultimately lead us to victory! A mighty oak grows from a tiny seed that holds firm and puts out strong roots. One millimeter at a time, it develops into something majestic and strong. This is how our life can be with determination and faith." ~Daisaku Ikeda
Take care!
Hi Shin,
Happened to came across the documentary about you on Channel 8. When you talked about your dream, which is to watch your children grow up, it reminded me of my mother, who had the same dream when leukaemia took her from me when I was 10.
Just wanna say stay strong and I sincerely pray that your dream will come true.
Hi Shin,
You are the second lady I've met this week who is facing terminal stage cancer so bravely.
The other lady I met is Susanze working in Cycle & Carriage's accident claims and repair dept.
Her doctor told her she is one of his patients who has survived more then five years.
She told the doctor not to tell her about her condition and just proceed with what chemo medicine he thinks is suitable for her. She has been trying all the new medicines and is doing well so far.
She prefers to work as she finds staying at home a waste of time and time passes faster when you are working. She has two grown-up children and is prepared to go when her time is up and she is always very cheerful when you see her.
My husband, too, passed away 5 years ago and I agree with what you mentioned in the TV programme - that those left behind are the ones feeling the pain of losing their loved ones.
I hope for all the best for you and I'm sure there will be new medicine coming in time for you.
Warmest regards,
M.E.TAN
Dear Shin,
Just watched the program on Channel 8. Thank you for teaching viewers how to be optimistic in such a situation. I believe there are cancer patients and survivors out there who are as optimistic as you. But your standing out to appear on the program teaches us a lot of things.
Live life to the fullest and there will be no regrets.
Cheers,
Ben Lee
I feel so happy for you that you are able to face your illness with such a positive attitude. In April this year, my cousin who was only 25, passed away due to a particular type of cancer called 'pecoma'. She was very upset after half a year of chemo gave negative results. Cancer cells spread throughout her body and her abdomen was swollen. She didn't have the determination to live.
When I saw the documentary, I was very touched by how differently you look at things. Instead of feeling depressed, you actually placed yourself in people's shoes and thought about what will happen to them when you are gone. To me, you are a great mom, a great wife, a great person!
I believe you are definitely one special gift that God brought into this world for every one of us. You have actually motivated a lot of people in this world through what you've written in this blog and said in the documentary. Not many people are able to do such a fantastic job.
I really can't hold back and I need to say the three words "I love you" because you are a very, very special gift I have received. I will never forget about you and what you have said. I only regret to have known you so late.
Cheerx:)
Hi Shin,
I'm Linda, 34.
I saw you on Channel 8.
I saw a woman of true beauty tonight.
I saw the sparkle in your eye, the same one you had when you were 16ish.
I saw the knowing sweetness in your smile, like you've found the secret to life's happiness.
I saw a petite figure (which I wish I have!) that holds a loving soul and huge heart.
I saw in Toby and Josie healthy, confident personalities, the result of your tender loving care.
I saw your spirit in your children, as if they are reflections of you.
I saw how you celebrate life, relishing every moment like precious drops of honey.
I saw how your friends and loved ones around you draw strength from you.
And I can see millions more, most of whom you would not know, who are going to do the same.
I saw how one person can make the big difference simply by embracing both life and death.
Thank you, my teacher.
Linda Lam
It's nice knowing that you can persevere in life! With all the journals, videos, and gifts, I am sure they will remember you! You are one blessed individual with your friends and with the encouragement here on this blog! One brave mother, an inspiration to all! God bless!
Shin,
Be strong and may god be with you.
Cheers.
You are really a very strong mom! You are really great! Keep it going!
You're a great inspiration to all.
Hi Shin,
I'm actually watching Channel 8 now and Googled for your blog address.
You're really brave and I admire your courage.
I do not know how to vote in the poll you put on your blog, but I lost my uncle to lung cancer in July 2007 and my aunt to throat cancer this May. It was really traumatising when I learned my uncle had passed away. But before he did, he hung on for at least two years following his diagnosis. I still miss him now, terribly.
P.S. Your kids are really cute. Josie and Toby will definitely miss you.
I'm watching the program on Channel 8 now as I type these words.
My wife and myself are very proud of you. You are a brave woman as well as mother and wife to your family.
Stay optimistic and things will get better. Take good care. We wish you and your family peace and bliss always.
My Dad died because of this illness. It has been a year but I won't forget the day he passed away. In his final months, he lived bravely and fought this battle like a warrior. I miss him greatly but nevertheless it was really painful to watch him pass on. How I wish this world were free of cancer. But his last words to me were that he will bless me and that his courage and strength live on in me.
I watched your show and learned about this blog. I just hope you will fight on for your beloved children and believe you can make it. I believe you will because you're mentally strong and so I really wish you all the best. God will bless you!
Shin,
Watching Channel 8 now. You touched me. You live life to the fullest. Thanks for sharing. And I wish you a very happy birthday and Merry X'mas. You are going to have a wonderful time with your family : )
Take care.
I hope that god will let you live longer so that you can be with your son and daughter longer.
How I hope that you will feel better and have more courage to live on.
Angie
You're a great inspiration to all.
HELLO SHIN!
I think that what you're doing is great and will benefit many of us out here by showing us what it's like to go through tough times like this. Anyway, your kids are really adorable!
Stay stong and keep on blogging.
GOD BLESS.
With love,
Shannon
Shin,
Much as you have created this blog primarily for your children's benefit, and are selfless in the manner you share your deepest thoughts, I want you to know that for us, it is about you.
If not for you, there would not exist this depth of sharing. It may be a cliche to say "you're great", "you're strong", etc. but I think the biggest gift is the legacy you're leaving for all of us, to look out for those in need.
I lost my sister one year ago. Similarly, her legacy was that it made everyone, friends and family alike, become more aware of each others' needs.
So much to say, I dont want to tax your energy.
Just know Shin, that we're all walking this journey with you, you're loved a lot, and your children too.
God Bless ...
Lena
Dear Shin,
Thanks a lot for being on the show. Your love towards your family and friends and your courage while facing cancer truly moved me to tears. I am so proud of you.
I was watching the program with my mum earlier. After watching it, I hugged my mum so tight; I'm so afraid of losing her. (My dad's no longer...)
Thanks again. Take care. : )
Hi,
I am watching the show on Channel 8 about you now. I am very touched by all the things you are doing for your children. The pain you are going through as you plan for your children is something I can appreciate but will never understand. I think it must be most painful for you but I also feel that it is something that is very personal for you, which can never be shared with anyone else. Sad but beautiful, I say. It's part of being a mother, I believe. It does not matter where you are born, raised, or where you settle down. It is beyond race, country and time.
Thank you for adding to my list of reasons why I must appreciate everything in my life. I hope you can be there for your children as long as possible.
Hi Shin,
I watched "In The Face Of Death" on Channel 8. I understand what you and your family are going through as I am in the same boat.
My wife was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer this year and is now undergoing chemotherapy.
All I can say is - let's work hard together and fight this cancer away.
B.
Dear Shin,
My mum and I watched you on Channel 8. Mum sends her love.
Thank you for teaching us to embrace life.
Dear Shin,
Watched your story on Channel 8 and was extremely touched.
Please continue to be brave and strong for your children and Tony (he's a great husband!).
I foresee myself becoming a huge fan of your blog! (^_^)
Take care and regards,
May
Saw the documentary on Channel 8. Glad you are handling your cancer in the way you are. Reminds me of the last lecture by Randy Pausch.
I sincerely wish that you will survive this.
Hi Shin Na!
I'm watching the show on Channel 8 right now. You're really inspiring. I was studying my History just now and was feeling really, really stressed. Then because my sister had the TV on, I chanced upon the show.
I was reminded of what's REALLY IMPORTANT in life. I was reminded to cherish my parents, my mommy especially, and all the little blessings in my life. What will remain? What will stay? What will be important at the end of time?
I'm deeply inspired by your attitude. You're like a true beam of light! Thanks for being that wake-up call for me. I wish you many blessings, and many happy returns everyday. :D Love, Alina : )
Dear Shin,
This show touches everyone's heart and shares the sorrows of your friends & family. Your story moved me to tears.
I'm proud of your always positive spirit and hope that you recover soon. You'll definitely see your Toby and Josie grow up and enter college. God bless and good health.
Ray Ho
Hi Shin,
This is the first time I'm reading your blog. I happened to catch the last ten minutes of the documentary film about you, and I am very encouraged by your strength in the face of this adversity you are facing. You are a woman of great character and I will pray for you and your family as you weather this storm together.
-Ruth
By the way, I was really kinda afraid to ask if you were Christian. But now I think you are, and I finally confirmed my query to whether it's really God and Christ who are giving you the ultimate strength. : )
God is good, always:)
Alle/Alina,
I hope I don't shatter your faith or your innocence since I get the feeling you're in your teens. But despite your age, you sound like a reflective, intelligent person, so I will treat you like one.
Actually, Alina, I am NOT a Christian. I wrote a blog post a while back entitled, "Why I Am Not A Christian".
Another post, "Where Does Strength Come From?" might also help answer your question.
I understand that some people need God and religion to give them strength. I'm just not one of them. I get my strength from within myself and from my faith in the love of family, friends, and even strangers like those who are saying such encouraging things to me on this blog.
Hi Shin,
I am from Singapore and Googled for your blog after the Channel 8 show. I cried actually. I am really touched and you are really brave.
I am only 23 years old but you make me realise that time is really precious, and we have to cherish whatever we have now.
I'm proud of you, really. : )
By the way, I like your kids. They are really cute.
Hello.
I'm watching the Chinese TV show with you in it now after reading your blog a few days ago. Although I'm still young and don't know a lot about cancer, I do hope and pray for a miracle to happen to you and your family. I know that if we trust in Him, anything and everything is possible. =)
Hi,
I just caught the documentary about you by chance on Channel 8. I was never a Channel 8 fan; hence this was fate.
I came online and started searching for your blog to learn more about you.
You epitomize what all mothers are. When the chips are down, you only think about your children. I am sure your kids will be mighty proud of you.
And I agree with you. No matter what problems we face, we deal with it. That is the human spirit!
Take care,
VT
I have just watched you on TV and you looked wonderful. You are indeed brave and I wish you well.
I am also a cancer patient: NPC. While I am lucky to have been diagnosed early, I believe the pain that I suffer is nothing compared to yours.
We all start to look into life when we are down with a critical disease. Before that, we always look outwards. I will not call cancer a terminal disease, but a critical one. So as long as you are alive, you do stand a chance to live and I know you believe in that.
I was once told, "Once you have a family, you lose the right to die." So please continue to be strong and brave. Hope you will have many birthdays ahead of you!
I've just watched the Channel 8 documentary about you.
You know what? It's really good to see that you have handled this situation well.
For the sake of your loved ones,
live on, hang on.
You will still live.
( :
Hunny, I salute you!
You are indeed very brave and courageous.
Hi Shin,
I've watched your journey shown on Channel 8. You are such an inspiration to so many.
I pray that God continues to heal you and use you as a miracle to touch many lives.
I just want you to know that Jesus loves you very much.
Shin,
I just caught the Channel 8 program. You look great on TV! Your kids are adorable. I have a boy (1 yr. 13 months). I don't think I would have your mental strength in a similar situation. Please continue to stay strong! I will pray for you. I want to keep reading your blog ! Kiss and hug your kids for me.
Choon Siang
Dear Shin,
Just watched the documentary on you.
You said you'd rather be the one with cancer than the one to witness someone dying because you can deal with cancer better than the sadness of loss. I agree with you.
I'm impressed with the effort you put into leaving behind so many beautiful memories for your kids, and things that they can touch and be reminded of you. Toby and Josie must be so proud to have such a thoughtful mum.
Regarding New Blog Rules, this is your blog, so you call the shots as to what should be published.
Talk to you again.
Goodnite
Shin,
I came across this Channel 8 show and was curious so I came over to read your blog.
I really admire your husband and you. You are both such responsible parents. Your kids are very fortunate.
And though I watched for only a few minutes, I could really sense that your husband loves you a lot. You are really fortunate to have a person who loves you wholeheartedly.
And I really love your attitude towards life.
Hi Shin.
After watching the programme on Channel 8, I've realised that there is so much to learn from you - from the way you fight your cancer, to how you see and manage life. This is something that I'm in awe of. God bless you and your family, and I really do hope that you can see your kids growing up for as long as possible. =)
Hi Shin!
I just heard about you and your blog from tonight's Channel 8 program. Your strength and attitude in facing your cancer have really touched me. Thank you for sharing your life with us. Pray that God will be with you and your family always.
Shin,
I have just watched the Channel 8 documentary on you. I have mixed feelings but I am indeed very proud of you for being able to face life so courageously. There is so much to learn from you on how to deal with adversity in life. Thanks so much for the motivation.
Lilian, mother of three.
Hi Shin.
Firstly, thank you for sharing your life story on this blog.
I am truly inspired to see your faith and strong determination to fight on with life.
I've just seen the documentary on Channel 8, and it was very touching. Fear not about the future, but treasure the beautiful times today.
Thank you once again for sharing. Take care and God bless you and your dearest family. I am very proud of you.
Dear Shin,
I couldn't help but cry buckets whilst watching your program. You have this amazing strength to deal with life's hard knocks. As a mother too, I think the most crippling would be the thought of leaving the kids behind.
Thanks for sharing your life and thoughts. Living has taken on a new meaning for me after tonight.
God bless,
Christy
Dear Shin,
I cried so hard while watching Channel 8 just now because I understand how you feel about leaving your children at a young age without a mother.
I am a cancer survivor and a mother. I completed my chemo and radiation treatment in 2008. I gave birth to my son in 2002. He is currently 6 years old and my fear of not being able to live long enough to see him grow up terrifies me. I am inspiried by your ideas of keeping birthday gifts and journals for your children so that they will remember you in the future. I think I will start to do that, too. I hope you will continue to be positive and fight on. Don't give up.
Hi Shin.
I saw the documentary on Channel 8 and was struck by your strength in combating cancer. I am a parent too, and I can empathise with your hope to live for your children. Whenever I face problems at work and feel stressed, I feel all right when I reach home and see my daughter. Family is everything.
Take care, and I wish you all the best.
Best regards,
Arthur Tan
Dear Shin,
After watching the Channel 8 film about your life story, I really felt your greatness and strength in fighting this disease and your motivation to carry on the battle -the power of a mother's love.
My mother passed away two years ago from a brain tumour. I still remember when she was diagnosed with cancer, she was utterly depressed. The tumor in her head affected her nerves and caused her a lot of mobility problems. Despite her difficulty, she still tried to cook some of our favorite dishes. It was so sad that I cried and hugged her tightly.
People always take things for granted until something happens to make them look at things seriously.
She mentioned something to me... No matter what happens in life, you have to be happy and live life to the fullest. A few days later she passed on in her sleep. She's safely in the hands of God.
Seeing your documentary today brought up a lot of memories. of my mother. I will pray for you. God Bless.
Shin,
I came across an ad on Channel 8 and I saw your blog so I came to take a look. I do pity you that you have cancer and are suffering from illness. You could actually continue to live happily until one day you collapse. You should cherish every moment you have now. And since you have children, try to cherish the time with them.
Thanks to Channel 8, I can now access your blog and see how life with cancer can be, and I can cherish my own life. Thanks for setting up this blog. I wish you a happy life with your children. Please always update everything you would like to express on the blog so that we readers can feel what it's like to be in your shoes .
I am just a 12-year-old kid and don't know much. But currently, I'm doing a project on cancer and your blog has actually taught me a lot about cancer. I would really like to thank you as I have gotten an A* for my project exam and that will help me pull up my grades. I really thank you.
I watched Channel 8 and saw your story. You're a brave mother, a very brave mother. You always put your children first. Thanks for sharing your life story with us. : )
Shin,
You are a great mommy, wife, daughter and friend. People around you are blessed with having you around. I am not good with words.
With hope, there will be possibility.
Cheers.
Dear Shin,
I've just finished watching the documentary on Channel 8. My sisters and I are so overwhelmed by your toughness and fighting spirit!
Yes, indeed, the greatest moment of your life is certainly now, at this particular moment! The exchanges between you and your family are so heart-warming, so true, so touching... and I'm very sure, your family and friends are proud to have you as their loved one!
Josie and Toby are certainly super lucky kids to have you as their mummy!! (Toby is such a cutie!! : )
Please keep on your fighting spirit and we will certainly pray for you and your family!
Happy Birthday in advance!!!
Best Wishes,
Vera
Hi Shin,
I've just finished watching Channel 8.
You are a great mother, you are a great person.
I have everything. I am healthy but sometimes, I feel that life is meaningless. You must be very upset to hear this.
Glad to know you. From now on, I will learn to cherish everything.
Ping,
When you were a kid and complained to your parents that you were bored, did they ever say to you, "You're not bored. You're borING. Go do something interesting and you won't be bored." It's a common thing that American parents say. It must be in some parenting manual they all read.
In my earlier days (in my teens and twenties), I sometimes felt that life was meaningless. Then I'd have to tell myself go out and MAKE meaning of my life.
Do something for me right now. Imagine this: You have cancer. You don't have much time left. Try to really imagine what you'd be thinking and feeling. Think about your loved ones. Think about the pain you might be facing. Think about the prospect of not existing anymore. Now beg God or the universe to give you your old, meaningless life back.
POOF!
You've got your wish! You do NOT have cancer! Go do something with yourself! Make your life MEAN something!
Lucky you... I wish I could do that.
Shin,
I just watched the programme on Channel 8 and learned about you and your blog. I really admire your courage. Despite your illness, you still care about and console your loved ones. I really have so much to learn from you. Get more rest. I really hope you will get better and better.
Shin,
I just watched the Channel 8 documentary about you. I was inspired by your courage and the way you're dealing with the current situation that you're in. I will read your blog every now and then to serve as a motivation to me. Hang in there. Everyone of us is supporting you.
=)
Shin,
The Channel 8 documentary has led me to your blog for the very first time. I wish I could read all of it tonight or just before I leave my message to you.
I am a middle-aged man possibly facing retrenchment soon, slogging every day, fighting hard to get recognition. I though it was sad enough until... I cried while watching your documentary. Yes, I cried because I get moved easily.
Shin, you are courageous! Much, much more than so-called normal people like me.
I am sure that your family will be so proud of you.
I am sure that god will have a better plan for you.
Love,
Adrian
Hello Shin.
I caught the film on Channel 8 and it brought me here.
I don't really know what to say but yes, I want Shin to get well too!
With love,
Joanne
I just saw the documentary about you and I cried. You are like a heroine to me, someone who can fight bravely.
There are a lot of things I can learn from you, especially your bravery. Thank you very much for sharing your life with us. ^_^
Hi Shin,
I've watched your story on Channel 8. You are really a fighter and your intense love for your children really moves me. Your courage to face whatever challenges ahead of you, inspires me to do the same.
I wish you well and GOD bless you and your family : )
Hi Shin,
Just watched the Channel 8 program. You showed me a different aspect of life. I had a few family members and friends who passed away because of cancer. I have always been fearful and lost in front of the sickness. This is the first time I've see a person so brave and positive in front of death, which I really think is something everyone should learn from.
I think you are a great mother, wife, daughter and friend. You certainly live life to the fullest and I'm very grateful to have come to know of your story. I learned a lot.
I hope you'll have all your wishes fulfilled.
Daniel
Dear Shin,
I've just watched the Channel 8 documentary, which brought me to your blog.
I am extremely touched by your story!!!
I have to say, I envy you a lot. You are a very brave womam, being so strong and optimistic about life. The things you have shared and gained are so much that some could not have ever accomplished.
The love from your family, husband, kids, and even friends is so true that it has taught me to cherish mine too.
Do take good care of yourself, and may God bless you and your family.
Love, ling~
Just watched your documentary on TV. I have much to say to you Shin...
But will say just one....
'This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you'...
from song vincent.
Hi Shin,
Just caught the documentary aired on TV and found your blog through the quick glance of your computer screen captured on TV : )
Wanted to let you know that your story and blog are definitely inspiring and encouraging to lots of people out there. You have 2 beautiful children and I am sure they are very proud of you.
Do keep writing and believing that miracles do happen : )
Hi Shin.
Jie jie. How are you? Please don't be so sad about your illness. I wish you a speedy recovery. And also tell Alicia not to be sad. I will always support both of you and hope to be both of your friend.
Take care.
Hi. I just watched a documentary on Channel 8 regarding your fight against cancer. Just want to say that you are indeed a courageous lady and may you win your fight against cancer. God bless you.
I only come to know about your blog after watching the Channel 8 documentary, and you have my respect.
In that half hour, I learned a lot from you about life, family, relationships, time and space...
I have started to share your blog with my friends so they can learn from your life experience, and I also hope they can direct people who need the support your blog can give.
Thank you so very much...
to dear shin
the most shining star
you are
to night
weighing not by weight
but by tons of
courage and caring
my brave shin
the track you are drawing
is the forever reflection
of life
not only from you
but also to all of us
pray for you
let the sky echo
the sound of my appeal
you deserve for tonight
and every
day and night
Henry,
Thank you. That was a beautiful poem. I especially liked the image of an echoing sky. Sound and vision.
Seeing you on TV reminded me that life itself has so much to offer. I admire the courage that you have to continue to live everyday to the fullest. I am utterly amazed by the determination in you. May GOD bless you and your family. Let's pray for a miracle.
Thanks to Channel 8 for introducing a fighter to the rest of Singapore.
I cried buckets as you shared this special part of your life's journey. I lost my sister last June through cancer. Like you, she was a fighter who never uttered a word about discomfort or pain. Instead, there was only care and concern for others.
Some live a long but wasted life. Some, like you, shine and leave beautiful footprints in others' lives.
JK,
I'm sorry you lost you sister. What you say supports my theory that there are a lot of us fighters out there. People keep telling me I'm special. I think there are many other cancer patients who deserve this praise, and many others who would behave with as much courage if they, too, were ever diagnosed with cancer.
I just happen to have come upon a lucky set of circumstances that has put me in the spotlight for the moment. I like hearing about other cancer patients like your sister. Thanks for telling me and my readers about her.
Hi Shin.
I just saw the documentary on TV with my family and we are all really touched by your courage and determination.
Your following sentences are indeed so true.
"My proudest moment is now. My least proud moments are too many to list. My happiest moments are now. My unhappiest moments are too few and too unimportant to remember."
I'm currently reading a book by Eckhart Tolle titled "The Power of Now". It's a good book which talks about focusing on the present moment rather than feeling sore about the past and worrying about the future. I'm still in the midst of learning how to focus on the present moment.
Many a times, I felt I was not progressing... thinking of stupid incidents of the past and worrying about the unknown troubles that lie ahead of me. You have reminded me yet again to treasure the present moments.
Hope a cure will be discovered soon and I wish you and your family all the best.
Hi Shin.
I just watched the Channel 8 program tonight and I just want to say thank you for sharing your whole experience with us. I have never met anyone who is so optimistic - "The best time of my life is now" despite what you are experiencing now. Do take good care and I hope you are in good shape on your birthday. Josie and Toby are just so lovely.
Natalie
Hi Shin.
My dad passed away due to liver cancer when I was 12 years old. He had also given us many beautiful memories & I remembered most clearly his love for my mum even in his last hour. He reminded us to love our mum even more after his death as she will be lonely and it will be tough for her as an uneducated widow to bring up her four kids by herself. Dad's words prepared us for the tough times mum went through to bring us up and also made us love and appreciate her more.
I also shared Dad's last words with my hubby and we told each other we will share this with our kids too, if either of us has to leave first.
After watching the Channel 8 show, I am very touched by the gifts, diaries, etc. you have prepared for your children. I am sure your children will remember and love you forever for what you have done.
Keep it up! Your strength will always be a reminder to me when I face obstables in life. Thanks.
Regie,
That story about what your father said about your mother as he was dying really touched me. That is true, true love. You must've had one amazing man for a father.
Hi Shin.
I happened to watch your program on Channel 8 tonight. I was very touched and encouraged by you for being brave and optimistic. This is something that all of us must learn from you.
Stay happy and strong. I'm leaving this prayer with you. May you draw strength from Him each day:
Lord, help me to rise above the things that concern me. I surrender the burden of them to You and thank You that as I do, You will make the burden light and get me through each difficult situation successfully. I lift my eyes from the health conditions I face and focus on You and Your love instead. Thank you that although human love fails, Your love never will. Help me to rest in Your love as I watch You bring good out of the tough times of my life.
Praying for you today. Stay strong, think positively. May the Lord watch over you.
Warmest Regards,
Cath
Hi Shin.
I just saw the Channel 8 documentary. You are a strong woman. I know that your birthday is next week. Happy 42nd Birthday!
Hi Shin.
I happened to watch Channel 8 and got to know about you and your story.
I just admire you! You are so brave! Be strong and positive always!
*Hugs*
~Jenn
Dear Shin,
I'm very touched after watching the programme on TV. You're really a role model for me. I have learned quite a number of lessons from you and they will definitely change me. Thanks for sharing =) and here's just a little prayer for you:
Dear Lord,
Please bless Shin in all the things she does. Take care of her family, her health, and her plans for this year. Continue to give her the strong faith and courage to carry on this battle. I ask in Jesus's name, amen.
God bless, Shin! Take care.
I happened to watch the Channel 8 documentary, so I searched for this blog. I'll be spending the next few days reading the rest of your posts. They are very inspiring. Take time to rest. May god bless you.
Dear Shin,
I do not know you and you do not know me. But I just wanted to say, I am very inspired by your blog and your TV programme. I lost several of my close relatives to cancer (my family has a history of cancer, so the doc told me to take care because I am 25% more prone to having cancer) and it's really hard to see someone go. And if ever one day, I am diagnosed with cancer, I am going to be like you, stand strong and firm and say, I have cancer, ok let's deal with it.
My mum recently detected high enzymes in her body and she is going for a scan tomorrow. Today you gave me strength to give her the courage she needs too. Thank you very much! And I really hope to see you get well.
ya
ya,
Thanks for sharing your story with me. Can you tell me what types of cancer you have in your family and what steps you're taking to monitor yourself or lower your risk?
Another mum asked for a prayer for you and that got me curious to see this site. You are a strong lady. Hope you let Daddy God love you one day.
Do visit my blog for a different understanding of the God you have in your thoughts.
Shalom!
After seeing tonight's Channel 8 documentary on you, I was really moved. I have two young girls myself and I cannot imagine being in your situation. I most probably would not have your courage to face the life ahead. Your optimistic outlook in life is really something that we should all look up to. You have made me realise further that life is not about how long it is but how fulfilling you make it. Believe the love you have in you will keep you and your family going strong. You will definitely leave a deep imprint on many people.
Hey, Shin.
I was touched by your story after watching the TV programme.
Sincerely pray that your dream will come true, and I know it will. Because love never fails.
Juses loves you as much as you love your kids.
Jane
I just watched the program on channel 8 tonight. I did notice both the Chinese and English subtitles and now I know why : ) Thanks for being so considerate.
On the advertisement for the film, you said, "The greatest time of my life is now," and I told myself I've got to watch it and know more about you.
You are such a courageous lady. I really admire you so much. Salute! Your positive attitude really inspires me to keep myself moving on with such a tough life. I am blessed with a healthy body at least for the time being.
Noted rules in your "New Blog Rules" and do feel that you are really grateful. From now onwards you will have another new regular reader, Me. I think it is going to take me some time to read all your posts from 2006. But it's all right, I will make it a daily habit of mine other than reading textbooks and newspapers. Like Fengy said, I regret knowing you so late too.
Stay strong & happy. May God bless you and your family and I believe god will grant your 5 years wish and even give you more. Take care Shin ( :
With love,
Jill
One of my friends, who doesn't smoke, was suffering from terminal stage of lung cancer 10 years ago. He was only 26 years old at that time.
Guess where he is now?
He is doing his masters in Australia in a completely healthy condition!
Hey Shin,
You are a real fighter!
I was very touched when you said, "This is the best time of my life"!
I happened to watch the other documentary about you on Channel News Asia a couple of months ago. This is my first time reading your blog after watching the programme on Channel 8 tonight. You are still very attractive even with shaved head : ) Josie and Toby are really adorable!
One of my old schoolmates was killed in a car accident in May. He was 37. Another friend of mine died of cancer in July. She was 30. We might not be able to understand why God took them away at such a young age. I do believe that death is not the end. Things really happen for a reason.
Thank you Shin, for the spirit in dealing with illness and death that you have shown us. You are truly a great person!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY in advance! May all your dreams come true.
Big hugs,
Chew Ha
My mum, too, was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer in year 2005 and went through lots of surgery and recovery into year 2006. But she does NOT go back for check-ups anymore as she thinks she's fully recovered. I hope her cancer won't come back again.
Anonymous,
Please, please convince your mother to go back for check-ups. If she was advanced stage at first diagnosis, that means cancer cells went beyond the breasts into remote organs of her body. No scans or tests can pick up everything. I was declared cancer-free after a PET/CT (very high-tech scan) and my cancer still came back.
The chances of cancer coming back after advanced stage diagnosis are extremely high. Please do some research for information about what sort of follow-ups she should be doing - they are different, depending on the details of her cancer and previous treatment. Look on my Web site for links to some good sites on breast cancer for this information.
Your mother is playing a very dangerous game if she is not going for regular check-ups. And her doctor is being downright negligent not to pursue her with periodic tests.
I don't want to sound alarmist here... actually, yes I do. She is taking serious risks with her life. I have had at least two friends die before their time because they neglected to go back for follow-up scans and their cancer came back when it was too late for them to do much. Please don't let this happen to your mother.
I had a suggestion (after the deluge of religious comments in the previous thread): why not start a post (titled "Save Shin's Soul" or some such) specifically for your many religious readers.
Then from now on, any irrelevant religious proselytising can be written there directly or pasted there by you from other threads.
I just feel that the many interesting comments by you and others get swamped - or sidetracked - by the virtual door-knockers.
It really is impressive how much grace and patience you manage to respond with, having already stated your beliefs countless times.
Lisacc,
Maybe you're right. Others have also complained about all the comments from Christians trying to convert me.
From now on, I'll try to limit the religious commentary to ideas that are somewhat fresh and interesting.
I will try not to post comments that say the same things about how much Jesus loves me and how my life on this Earth is meaningless if I don't accept God. These commentators might have good intentions, but I guess they don't know my background enough to see that I probably have had more exposure to religion than they have and that I have well thought-out reasons for rejecting religion.
So no more comments from proselytizers.
I watched the documentary and you were amazing! I am not good with words but Shin, keep going! Keep living! You have two beautiful kids!
Shin - your Blog and the documentary both ooze with just some of what you are. I am proud to know such a brave, feisty and intelligent lady and congratulate everyone involved in the documentary's ability to reflect part of that same lady.
Dear Shin.
I watched yesterday's programme and was so touched and inspired. My sons (ages 11 and 8) watched with me.
I'm a Stage 3 breast cancer patient. I am undergoing radiotherapy now.
In the year 2000, six months after giving birth to my youngest son, I found that I had Stage I breast cancer.
And after 8 years, it's back again.
But I am not giving up.
For the sake of our loved ones ,we must continue to fight and battle.
Rest well and take care!
Lynn,
You went 8 years without a recurrence so you can go another 8. And another, and another...
I know a woman who had four different types of cancer over a 25-year period. She's over seventy years old now. She's kicking cancer's butt, not the other way around.
Dear Shin,
I would have agreed to every view of yours and not whimpered a word of disagreement BUT, to entertain the thought you put in me by saying that you prefer to be finite, I firmly and gently tell you 'NO'.
You are just too precious to be finite!
And seriously, anyone who has known you or loved you would never want you to be finite, let alone a total stranger like me who is inspired by your courage and honesty from afar.
Eternity does not imply that we go on living doing all our boring routines, but rather, we carry on loving the people we have loved , meeting the people who have touched our lives, and the best part of it all... it will not be disrupted... not ever... anymore!
Cheers,
FL
Hi Shin.
I only came to know about you after watching the documentary on Channel 8 last night & that prompted me to read your blog.
You are definitely someone whom I take inspiration from. Your "carpe diem" spirit, the straightforwardness about yourself, the unselfish sharing about your life. A truly courageous act.
I pray that as you go through this journey fighting cancer, you will be blessed with the things that will keep you going.
Happy birthday in advance to you! I cannot wait to read how your husband is going to celebrate for you. =)
May God bless you & your family tremendously & more.
Chris
I am very touched by your strength & love for your gorgeous kids. I am a young mother of a 3-year-old girl & I can truly empathise with your love for your children.
Thanks for sharing your story with us, and for making us cherish our loved ones more.
May God & Strength be with you.
I will pray for you.
Take good care & send my love to your beautiful kids too.
Best Regards,
Shirley
Hi Shin.
I admire your spirit! Keep on fighting. May God bless you & your family : )
Dear Shin,
I was really touched after watching the Channel 8 documentary last night. You're the second person I know who is so positive and brave. My mum, who is a cancer patient, is also very positive. She was diagnosed with nose cancer eight years ago. At that time, we were told by the doctor that my mum was stage 4, which was quite critical. And she has lost more than 20 kg since then. But as of today, she is still doing well. I believe this is partly due to her self motivation to live on and be optimistic. You are both great! Stay well and rest well. Take care, Shin :-) Love you! Cheers, Serene
Hi Shin.
You're a phenomenal mother and fighter! I just want to let you know that your sharing WILL help countless people.
And I think I share the same sentiment with all your readers, in that we hope to hear of your improved condition very soon.
Sincerely,
Gavin
Dear Shin.
I had not read any blog until I watched your documentary last night. I feel I need to tell you this:
You are the bravest person I've seen. I admire your courage and strength and I don't think I would have a fraction of that if I had cancer or if any of my loved ones did. You have been a great "teacher" to us on life's difficult moments. A very big thank-you for your honest sharing. Take care of yourself and enjoy every moment you can.
I saw you on the TV program. I love the way you are on TV. You look sick but your eyes still look lively. You look so happy and so centered with your family that it makes me wonder how many healthy people are as happy with their lives as you are?
Thanks for spreading your happiness to us. I do not know about medicine but I suppose happiness is still the best medicine.
Hi Shin,
I love your attitude towards life and battling cancer. You are really a great inspiration to me. A perfect role model for all cancer patients to look up upon. Whenever I think of giving up, I will always be reminded of your spirit and my uncle's to hang on. Your willpower and positivity towards life is admirable. =)
Take Care =)
A 25-year-old BC survivor
Dear Shin,
I first learnt of you from the Breast Cancer Foundation's 2008 calendar. I was struck by your positive remarks, but at the same time felt very sad for you and your family.
I'm a mother of three young children: 6, 2, and 6 months.
The courage that you've shown in your battle against cancer puts me to shame when I get upset over mundane problems in life.
I thank God for you, and will continue praying for you and your family.
Love,
Celeste
Hi Shin!
I just want to say I was really touched by your story when I saw the documentary on Channel 8 last night. You made me realise something new about life and I thank you very much for it! Continue inspiring us!
Good Luck and Take Care! =))
Had an argument with my wife over some investment decision which she made without my consent. Business is in a mess...
Funny, this stuff doesn't look important anymore after watching your documentary...
Hi Shin.
I did not watch the show on Channel 8 but came to know your story through the commercials of the show. I have a friend who is fighting bravely against cancer too. No matter what happens, stay strong and fight to the end. =)
Hi Shin.
I watched the documentary on Channel 8 about you. You are brave and I really support your fight against cancer.
Your blog also taught me a lot about strength and determination. I hope you will get well soon.
Best wishes,
Lynn
Hi Shin.
Watched the documentary on Channel 8 on Tuesday and I must say I was really impressed with your will and determination to fight cancer. You really taught me how to cherish what I have now. If I recall correctly, the show mentioned that your birthday is just around the corner or has just passed, right? Whichever is appropriate, Happy Birthday or Happy Belated Birthday! Take care Shin. We'll always be behind you, supporting you.
P.S. Your kids are really cute!
Shin,
I came to your blog after watching the documentary on Channel 8. Though I do not have kids, I know how you must feel about having to leave behind two beautiful children against your will.
You will be in my prayers tonight. Thank you for teaching me so much about life. Seeing and reading what you are going through, I have learned to tell myself nothing is going to make me scream my head off anymore! Really... after reading most of the posts on your blog, I cried and wished I could run to my mum who is not staying with me, to hug her and tell her how much I loved her.
My mum is a cancer survivor. She was diagnosed with Stage 3/4 breast cancer in 1993.
I hope you get better and I really hope you will fight on!
Kudos to Tony for standing by you and being there for you. He is a great husband and daddy.
Wow, so many lovely comments to a person who is still alive. Normally, we reserve them for after someone's died.
Good on you, Shin, for getting so many positive comments about you being so brave and strong. And even though you don't believe in God, I think that every Christian here will think that you've earned your place in Heaven... even if it is a fictitious place. You're a good egg and you've done so much with this blog. Well done. I think we're all so proud of you! God, or no. (Well, at least I am.)
(And God is a no.)
xx
Hi Shin.
My family has a history of liver and bile duct cancer. Uncle, Grandma, Grandpa and auntie all passed away due to cancer related to the liver. Mum's CT scan will be out next week, but meanwhile, she is complaining about her tummy aching all the time. For me, I do not touch alcohol unnecessarily, I try my best to have a balanced diet and I do my routine of yoga, swimming and walks. But I think I take too many painkillers, due to an operation that I had and migraines now and then. Am I doing enough? Could you give me a word or two to enlighten me? Anyways Shin, don't worry. I am a Miss Jekyll and Hyde too! : ) : )
Yaya,
I'm afraid I can't give you any medical advice, especially since my experience is with breast, not liver cancer.
Given your family history, I can see why you're worried, but it seems to me you have a fairly healthy lifestyle. One thing you didn't mention is the kind of food that you eat. That would affect your liver, since it's the liver's job to clear toxins from your body. If you do a search in my blog (SEARCH field at top of page) for diet, nutrition, "China Study", you'll get my past posts about my thoughts on the role of nutrition in cancer and what causes cancer.
Mind you, these are merely my opinions, based on my own research. These are not medically informed opinions.
One thing I WILL recommend to you is that you check with you doctor about the pain medications you're taking. Some medications can have synergistic effects that could force your liver to work overtime and therefore, weaken your liver and make it more vulnerable to cancer or other diseases. Tell your doctor about everything you're taking, including over-the-counter drugs such as aspirin. As with any drugs, you should be telling your doctor about everything you're putting into your body.
I hope that helps. I hope your mother's CT scan comes back clear. Let me know?
Hi Shin
Wishing you a really good day on your birthday on 12 November.
Hope you spend the way you wish to with dear loved ones close to your heart, Tony, Josie and Toby. And others closest to you as well.
You are frequently in my thoughts. I read your blog every two days.
Happy Birthday, Shin.
Cheers
Anu Chia
Hi Shin.
How are you feeling? After watchng the Channel 8 program, I was very inspired by your bravery. I cried throughout the program. I had depression and I am getting better. Think of how I coped through those hard times. I was not like you. Do take care and God bless you!
Anna,
Thanks for the compliment.
I hope you don't mind my asking... were you saying that you felt depressed while watching the show about me or that you have been diagnosed with clinical depression?
Dear Shin,
I was diagnosed with Stage 3 nasopharyngeal cancer a few days ago. It started as an innocent lump on my neck, and the doctor (a very nice one with fantastic bedside manners) asked for permission to say a prayer for me the moment he saw the scope - I knew it was bad.
The next few days was, I guess, the progression of the 5 stages of grief. My three kids are still so young (9,6,5); I want to see them grow up. I can proudly say I am a pretty kind person at heart.
Well, I am at my acceptance stage now and will be starting my chemo tomorrow. It's scary and yet funny that I am actually looking forward to it. I see it as my only path to move forward and fight for my survival but I am really scared.
I came to realise that I have spent so much time at work that I totally missed the joy of spending time with my family. Apology also to my husband whom I get short- tempered with when I bring my work home.
The very next day after I was diagnosed, it dawned upon me that I did not have much time left and amazingly, I accomplished so many things which I had KIV (keep in view) for my kids.
I cried when I saw how my 9-year old son enjoyed his breakfast of a simple plate of bee hoon and milo with me. I had never had a chance to take leave from work to do that with him before.
Even a simple trip to the playground brought so much joy. I cried when I saw my kids running happily at the playground. I cried as I was reading stories to them. I cried when I saw their happy faces during the trip to the supermarket to get a drink of choice. All these things I did in that morning after the diagnosis.
Tomorrow is my first chemo session and I am ready yet scared, not able to sleep...
Ginger,
I don't know why you chose this particular blog post to write your comment on, but I hope you find your way back here to read my response.
I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I'm especially sorry for your kids.
You seem to be handling this well, though. You have your eyes on what's most important - doing whatever you can to live for your kids.
I was like you. I was very eager to start chemo because based on my research and several doctors' advice, I was convinced that it was the best way to fight my cancer. And I just needed to do something, anything I could, immediately, to fight this thing.
I don't know much about nasopharyngeal cancer, but most cancer treatments have come a long way in recent years. The two drugs I'm on now didn't even exist when I was first diagnosed three years ago. Just imagine... that much progress in just THREE years!
So there's a lot of hope out there in the medical world.
Luckily, you have the best motivation of all to fight - three kids who love and need their mother. I got a bit emotional reading about all the things you did with your kids the morning after your diagnosis. I hope you have many more days like that.
Good luck with chemo tomorrow. Post again to let me know how you're doing. Or send me a private e-mail at ShinNa66@gmail.com. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.
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