Thursday, May 15, 2008

Death, Lies, and Cancer

A friend of mine told me his ex-boss died recently of cancer. He said the man was mean, hateful, egotistical, selfish, and had abandoned two families and was generally despised by his employees. But after he died, people spoke very highly of him.

I hope that doesn't happen to me. I hope people who hate me don't start lying after I'm dead and make up nice things to say about me just because I'm dead.

Or worse... I hope people aren't making up nice things to say to and about me now just because I have cancer. Cancer might make some people better human beings, but that hasn't necessarily happened to me. Somebody once described me as "a bitch on wheels going full speed". My answer was, "You say I'm a bitch like it's a BAD thing."

That was a long time ago and I've mellowed since then, but I'm sure there are still some people who know me who don't have nice things to say about me.

So I asked my friend to tell me things he dislikes about me. He wanted to know why I'd want to know such things. My answer: Isn't it better for me to know what people find annoying or unlikeable about me while I'm still alive and can do something about it rather than after I'm dead and can do nothing about it?

This doesn't mean that if you tell me you don't like something I do, I'm going to stop doing it just because you don't like it. But you have a better chance of changing me now than when I'm dead.

If you tell me you don't like it when I correct your grammar, I'll try really hard to stop. But if you tell me you don't like me making fun of people who spend $65,000 on a handbag, too bad.

And if any of you reading this blog has a $65,000 handbag in your closet, may I suggest you come with me this Saturday night to the fundraiser for the Children's Cancer Foundation?


Francesca Giessmann said...

shin... i dont have a 65K bag ( and I also make fun of "these' people) ... nor 65K in the bank.. but you bet if I was a little closer ..I will come on Saturday...
i love your writing ( and no. .i am not saying it just to say it..)
big kiss

Alka said...

Shin, now I wish I had a 65K bag, would've auctioned it for the CCF. You are such a radiant personality and I'm addicted to your writing.I don't think anybody who knows you has anything bad to say.I'd be very surprised. Amit and me talk about you a lot at home.
BTW, all journalists have this 'bad' habit of correcting grammar:)
Is my post grammatically correct?
love you,

Vic said...

I love everything about you. Your courage, your sense of humour, your passion for everything, and I don't even mind that I am sure you will send this back with my grammar and spelling corrected. I have to confess that I did buy a pair of beautiful black leather boots 8 years ago for $700 and felt so guilty .... but I'm still wearing them today after 4 resoles and they are as good as new - they've got at least another 10 years in 'em!

What I will particularly remember about you though is that in the last few years you have been the "lolly Nazi". I will never forget laughing so much last time you were down here when Shelley gave the kids a "natural" jelly snake after dinner, and you got up and went and ripped it out of Toby's mouth (Josie was cleverer - she had eaten hers already!) .... I did think at the time how you would handle seeing your kids line up vodka or tequila jelly shots when they are 18 years old (much as I am sure you did!!) and you would be saying, get rid of the jelly, just drink the alcohol!!

Anyway, better away ... but stay strong and know you are never far away from my thoughts - stay strong and don't forget lots of smiles and hugs for all!


Anonymous said...

AWESOME POST! You should write books. I would read one,and I don't read.