Tony's been suggesting I get a wheelchair so I can get around more easily without coughing and losing my breath. I've been mostly house-bound since my brain tumor-induced seizures in August.
When I do get out of the house once or twice a week, I have to walk at a snail's pace, which turns a 30-minute shopping trip into a half-day affair. If I try to move faster, I lose my breath, start coughing, and that starts a vicious cycle of coughing and breathlessness that leaves me gasping and feeling suffocated. That pretty much takes the enjoyment out of being out and about.
A wheelchair would allow me to zip around the supermarket without the danger of coughing up my lungs. I'd have to get one of those portable oxygen machines to attach to the wheelchair. Of course, then I'd really look like a sick person. Right now, I could still pass for somebody with bad hair sense, but in a wheelchair, I'd definitely look like somebody on her last legs... or wheels.
People who know me might think I'd be the kind of person who'd stubbornly refuse to give in to her physical limitations and resist anything like wheelchairs or oxygen tanks. But as stubborn as I am about my self-sufficiency, I'm also no idiot. I can either stay in bed indefinitely or I can get some wheels and interact with the outside world.
Who knows? I could have some fun with this. Maybe I can put Toby in his stroller and challenge him to a race.
Here's the model I'm considering.
Photo courtesy of Ronnie Ng.
P.S. Reminder: The short documentary film Channel 8 did about me is airing here in Singapore tomorrow, Tuesday, November 4 at 10:30 p.m.
56 comments:
A guy at work who suffered from MS - very sadly he died recently - used to get around on this sort of motorised bike rather than a wheelchair. It had a useful basket on the front. I don't know if such a thing would be harder or easier for you to manage, but it's another option than a conventional wheelchair. Plus it doesn't need a second person to push it, of course, should that be an issue.
Hi,
This is the 1st time I've read your blog. I just felt compelled to write you a verse from the Bible,
Jesus says, "I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me shall live even if he dies.." John 11:25
Knowing God is a divine experience. Often, knowledge, wealth, pride and even self-confidence get in the way of knowing Him. It takes humility and brokenness to experience the reality of God in our lives.
We are living in a dying world because of our sins. All of us will die someday, whether we like it or not. What's important is that we make peace and reconcile with our Maker before we do. It will determine our eternal destiny.
I'm facing a far more challenging situation than yours (believe me, I'm not trivializing what you are going thru), but my courage and strength come from knowing that God loves me and gave His life for me...
this wheelchair's pretty cool..
http://cache.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/11/Tank%20Chair.jpg
Hi Shin,
This is the first time I read about ur blog. Forgive my ignorance. I happened to see u on the tv and decided to do a search regard u. I am impressed by how optimistic you are toward ur illness. Just want to tell u that u are beautiful even though u may be bald. I saw ur photos in the album and was quite surprised that u are so photogenic even though u are a cancer patient. (Maybe you should post more of ur own photographs). You are a lucky woman with 2 beautiful kids and a lovely husband. I hope to read ur updated posts on ur blog many more " 10 YEARS".
Hi Shin,
I noticed your blog on TV and I must admit I'm truly inspired by your unspeakable optimism and positive spirit!
I've been up all night till 4am reading your entire blog, and I particularly like the post "Improv problem-solving" best..
Your loving nature and the way you care for other cancer patients, especially the way you actively initiated the fund-raising for Max, has truly touched me in the most special of ways.
I've looked through your pictures too- you're truly blessed with a wonderful family and lovely and beautiful children indeed! I'm sure they are really lucky and proud to have you.
In response to your Jan 15 post, I'd like to believe that many will say those wonderful things about you, especially the way u changed many lives with your inspiring thoughts.
Take care, and God bless abundantly!
May Peace and All Good be yours!
Mel
Is there any way to record the documentary and post it onto your blog as we're not going to catch it over here? Would love to see it.
I'm sure it's your birthday around now -might already have missed it or it's coming up but either way -Happy Birthday! I remember your 40th a couple of years ago. You said that cancer hasn't really changed you but it's changed the people around you. It's very true. It definitely changed me and my perspective on life.
We didn't automatically "click" when we first met through the usual baby groups but I was strangely drawn to you!
Whoever commented on "Angels" previously, summed it up perfectly.
I think there are Angels in all our lives in various shapes and personas, who influence the way we live and sadly in some cases, through their "suffering" (apologies for the religious overtones, somewhat ironic), enable us to value the important aspects of life.
I'm sure you've heard of the whole Indigo child tag? It's all a bit happy clappy but then again, I can't help thinking about a certain person whose blog we all follow avidly...
"According to New Age belief, Indigo children are highly sensitive with a clear sense of self-definition and a strong feeling that they need to make a significant difference in the world. They are strong-willed, independent thinkers who prefer to be self-guided rather than directed by others. They are empathic and can easily detect or are in tune with the thoughts of others, and are naturally drawn to matters concerning mysteries, spirituality, the paranormal and the occult, while opposing unquestioned authority and contradictory to convention. They tend to think outside the box, and are often referred to as system busters. Indigos allegedly possess wisdom and level of awareness beyond their years."
When Laney was born, someone told me about Indigo and Crystal children. I'd never heard about them until then. I still don't know much about it but I do like the idea that there are people who will help change the world and the way we see things and those who will help guide us through the turmoil.
Whatever colour your aura, Shin, I know it burns bright whether you're on wheels or on foot.
Happy Birthday!!
A xx
Ps let's hope change starts tomorrow and your fellow compatriots make it happen (have you and Tony voted??!!). Maybe Obama isn't actually "black" but Indigo!
Anonymous,
Thanks for your good intentions (I assume?), but I really don't feel the need for a death-bed conversion.
And I don't want a life after death. Seriously. One life is good enough for me and then I'm done.
If your God is worth worshipping, I think he'd understand.
Ronnie!
Fantastic! This wheelchair would give me serious street cred! Among the infirm and disabled crowd anyway...
The only drawback is that I don't see where you fit the sidewinder missiles...ha, watch the taxi drivers back down from that one (and you could also take out a few passing proselytisers).
B29-Stratowheelchair.
"Trschhh... Pilot to Ball Turret Gunner, grab the organic lettuce. Trschhh..."
-Love Jamie
wheels? hahahaha!!!! thats big! u can split the whole crowd with this! way to go man! or woman! hahaha. its so nice being a free thinker. sheesh.
Wendy Lim,
Thanks for reading my blog and thanks for your flattering comments. I have to say, though, that the credit should go to the very talented photographer who made me look so good (even with no make-up).
His name is Phil Date and if you're interested in his work, you can contact him at phildate@gmail.com.
Not only is he a good photographer, he also happens to be a very nice guy who also does charity work.
You've been here before, you can do it, don't give up. As someone wrote on your blog, her sister had last stage cancer and survived for 6 years. Remember how bad you felt about 8 months ago, then you felt so good. This can happen again. Just concentrate on being happy. You know the kids plus Tony will sort themselves out but they'd love to have you here longer. Just concentrate on being well, I'm sure you will find a chemo solution which will turn the problem around as swiftly as it did the last time. You have done all you can to beat this, but sometimes science does work wonders on our bodies. Keep hoping, keep alive, do crosswords, beat it!!
Hey. I saw your blog name on Channel 8, so I decided to take a look at your blog. I really enjoy reading your blog. (:
You're really a brave woman.
Lots of love,
Chermaine.
I believe that this wheelchair will be beneficial for you to get around better and spend more precious time with your son and daughter outdoors! By the way, your son and daughter are so adorable and your daughter looks exactly like you - pretty. They are the driving force in your life and I am so envious of you. From all the pictures that you have posted, you are really a fortunate woman. Live well, and I hope to see more of your family pictures. Take care.
can see you as a young girl
Being only you,
Later you the shrapnel of your past
Listening to my early whine
I can see you, silent, dignified
Holding a wall of grief before you
Watching you find the bricks of reason
To start your life again
I can find you in all my tears and dreams
Always there, quiet
Telling me that I must change
Feeling you in all I do
Silent, still, you go on.
I build on, unaided, dreams here
Shaping things that I know are often soft
One day I will hold you in my palm
Quiet, against the world of reason.
Dear Shin,
Saw you on a TV ad yesterday. Am so glad to know that there will be a documentary film about you airing on Tuesday night. Trust that I will be watching every second of it.
I heard, or read, about you more than a year ago. Forgive me; I do not remember how. But I do remember that you left a very deep impression, and you brought that back again when I saw you yesterday ... your beautiful smile ... so powerful yet so peaceful... felt like... this world seemed like a better place all because you smiled.
Wish you happiness, and all the very best in your fight!
Hi Shin,
Haha : ) Are you doing free advertising for your photograher? I am looking forward to watching you on national TV. *smile*
Wendy Lim,
I guess I am. ; )
I believe good things should happen to good people.
I don't know Phil personally - his photo session with our family was a gift from another friend of ours.
Phil took great care during the shoot to make us all feel comfortable and the kids very happy and smiley. Afterwards, he went through a great deal of trouble and expense to blow up the best shots for us to frame and mount on the wall.
And then he refused to take any payment for all that work. He wanted to do it for our family for free, though he didn't even know us.
He also contributes to a great charity that he introduced me to: Kiva
So I'm happy to help this guy get clients if I can. If you ever need a professional photographer and have the choice between someone who's just after the money and Phil, who's done good things for other people, you might want to choose Phil.
As I said... good deeds should be rewarded.
Hi!
I have been reading your blog; I've just never tried to leave a comment before. But I just came across the short clip of you on Channel 8. I just thought I'd tell you, you look pretty, really you do. And I'm not just telling you that because you are ill!
Also, I especially liked the post on Improv Problem-Solving. I will definitely try that out!
I will go catch the show on Tuesday!
With love,
Elaine
Kiva is wonderful - it is fun and rewarding, and it feels really constructive. Even if you don't have much money you can take part with just $25, which of course you eventually get back so you can reinvest it.
Dear Shin,
I am sad to hear you say that you don't want a life after death.
It shatters my heart utterly.
God wants you to have a life after death. God wants you to have Tony, Toby and Josie by your side for all eternity, and after our temporal lives and suffering are over, God wants all of us to live in eternal bliss free of suffering and pain.
All of us will pass on eventually sooner or later, but that does not mean that we will not meet our love ones again and be reunited.
And not to have life after death will just erase everything that we've ever experienced: the love, the joy and the memories.
Our bodies might perish but what is crucial is that our souls live on and God wants to restore those things that were stolen from us back to their original glory.
I might sound like a mystic fool, please forgive me, but a life with God after death makes perfect sense compared to the perceived meaningless and senseless existence that all of us are clinging to.
God loves you Shin, your physical body might be going through pain
but your soul is empowered daily by the strength that God put in you.
God wants that soul to live forever.
Francis Lim
Shin, love your humour. Gonna be catching you on TV tonight. in the meantime, be well :)
Francis Lim,
Thanks for your concerns about me and my afterlife, but I really don't think there's any cause for worry.
Rather than repeat myself, may I direct you to my past posts on my views about the afterlife?
Paradise Redefined
A Better Life?
Paradise Declined
Afterlife
You can see from these posts that I don't see a life free of suffering and pain as eternal bliss. I don't think ANYTHING eternal is bliss.
You say the absence of an afterlife erases everything we've ever experienced - love, joy, memories. I don't understand that. What you experience now is not erased by something that happens later. Are you saying that your life now is not even real? It is only given value in your afterlife? I find it sad that you think your life on Earth means nothing.
"Senseless and meaningless existence," you say. Again, I find it very sad that you think your life is meaningless.
I, for one, believe my life has a great deal of meaning and value. I've brought a lot of happiness to a lot of people. I've had two beautiful children who will contribute to the happiness of people around them as they grow up.
It's hard for me to believe that God, any God, would create us to have meaningless, senseless lives. I don't think you give God enough credit. I don't even believe in him and I think he's a better God than that.
God will love you as much as you love your children. Take care.
Haha! i can imagine you looking like G.I. Jane on that militaristic wheelchair!
I don't want to get into a comment war here, so I'll understand if Shin doesn't approve this, but I find it bizarre and frankly offensive that anyone could read her blog and consider her - or anyone's - life "senseless and meaningless".
Even if you genuinely believe that, I find it remarkably extremely "unchristian" (as in uncompassionate, unloving and unkind) to post such a sentiment here.
Your life has more meaning to people who have barely or never met you, Shin, than you will ever know.
Dear Shin,
No, there is no life after death. Ecc 9:5,10. The dead are conscious of nothing at all; from dust we are, to dust we return.
That's why life is so precious. Yes, leave God to decide what is in store for us in the future, for He gives life. HE understands how you feel, the same way you understand your children.
Sad that insensitive and immature blog readers are saying senseless things to you.
I like your wheelchair - cool! Lady with poor hair sense on a ruggard wheelchair.
Kathie
Dear Shin,
Good morning to your new day!
Actually, every day is a bonus to us for we don't know when we will expire.
Just to share, I lost a close family friend to stomach cancer 3 years ago on Christmas. Seeing him through treatment was just unbearable for his wife and those close to them.
And I lost another close friend suddenly because of a heart attack. It took us by shock and there was nothing we could do for him.
My parents' demise was like this too. Dad allowed us to prepare mentally; mum just left suddenly one day.
Do I have a preference for one or the other? The answer is No. However, the former seems better for the living, it allows for atonement and reconcilation if needed. Less guilt but more anxiety. Sudden demise can bring about anger for the living because the living feel abandoned and betrayed.
Though I worship God, I still cannot come to terms with Him on the issue of illness and death - perhaps due to my limited brain capacity to comprehend the purpose.
Each day is a bonus. If we live it well and touch more lives, we add bonus to others. Your documentary tonight will do just that. Will rush home to watch.
Good day, Shin.
Kathie
Kathie,
I have great respect for the fact that although you don't understand why God would allow illness and death, you continue to worship him.
You know I don't believe in God so this is an odd thing for me to say. But I believe that true faith - in God or anything else - is not founded on proof or rewards or explanations. True faith does not end when things don't go your way.
I believe that if there IS a God, he did not cause the death of your loved ones. I think your God is all goodness and love and any ideas about a quid pro quo God has been planted by men throughout the ages.
Hold on to your faith, Kathie. Don't let death and sorrow shake it. Because when death and sorrow come, your faith may very well be what keeps you from despair.
Looks like you may need more sidewinders...
Dear Shin,
I thank you for your feisty and delightful response. Boy oh boy am I facing a fighter! Hahaha I like that! I like your rebuttals, clinical and sharp. Now permit me to get to my point : )
A life after death does not imply that we are living crappy lives now but rather, if we hold in our hearts that there IS a life after death, we have a focus, an aim, a journey's end and another beginning (for lack of a better word). Now, if we were to subscribe to NO life after death, we are all going to die anyway, if not by cancer it will be some other cause. What's the point of of existing but not continuing?
The point I am driving at is... We're all going to DIE anyway, what's the point ? Period.
Should we have life after that, we have hope, this life is not the ONLY life. And the next life will not be finite.
We will live on, reunite, and we will be able to reconcile to make relationships whole and to recover from the pain and the suffering our fallen nature have caused us.
Our present life, although as blessed as we might think it is, might even be more blessed still WITH the presence of a loving GOD walking with us and talking with us, and it is exactly these reasons why JESUS came. He wants us to have eternal life and to have it ABUNDANTLY! Not finite nor partial BUT COMPLETELY.
Cheers,
Francis Lim
Francis Lim,
What's the point of exiting but not continuing, you ask? Look around you at everything that's beautiful in the world - the people in your life, your kids giggling in delight, a beautiful sunny day with a nice breeze, an icy cold beer on a really hot and humid day, and all the things in this world you can see, touch, smell, and feel, thanks to the God you believe in.
You think he gave all this to us simply as an appetizer to the real thing in the afterlife? Isn't that a bit of an insult to the God who created all this for us?
Why can't we just enjoy what we already have instead of dismissing it all as inferior to what's ahead? That's like having an affair with a man while waiting for the guy you REALLY love comes along.
I'm grateful to your God or whatever gave us the world we have in front of us. I think he/she did a great job. There's no need for more.
And, as I said before, I just can't imagine anything that I'd want for all eternity. The idea of living for eternity, even if I get to eat my favorite ice cream for all eternity, scares me more than cancer.
I just don't understand why anyone would want to live forever. And what in the world would you want to DO forever? That's not a rhetorical question. Tell me what you really think you're going to be doing for eternity when you finally get to the afterlife.
As for God walking with us and talking to us... Sorry, but that just doesn't appeal to me. He might be a very nice guy, but I have no interest in hanging out with him for all eternity. Maybe a chat over a drink or two so I can ask him a few questions, but that's about it.
With all this promise of eternal life, I feel like I'm being invited to a party that I just have no interest in going to. And if I decline the invitation, people want to make me feel like there's something wrong with me. Sorry, but the afterlife is one party I'd rather not attend. You'll just have to enjoy the party without me. Forever and ever and ever and ever... and ever and ever and ever... Good luck not getting bored out of your mind!
Dear Shin
To NOT believe in life after death is to in fact deny the very existence of GOD
What we have in this world is fallen and full of decay despite the perception that eveything is beautiful and well , I understand your viewpoint and I respect it , this world is finite , this life is finite and all that goes with it is finite and its due to a fallen order and because of sin
Jesus came to reverse that order and to make all things whole again , God, in all his might and power will not be limited by just giving us one body and one life which is finite, it was in HIS WILL to offer us eternal life only if we choose it , only if we are willing to accept it ! its free with no condition , the only condition if I may use that word is a broken , humble and contrite heart in spirit to accept it
How could heaven be boring , Shin?
How could a place that is so full of love and warmth be any less interesting ?
There is nothing wrong with you in accepting an invitation to be with happy people , people who loved you deeply and genuinely
I am not saying that all is lost in this present life , you are a fighter , Shin ! I am inspired by your spirit
I am humbled by your strenght ! but I will be exhilarated to see you infinitely whole not just from cancer but from this fallen world
Jesus trully loved you , Shin !
His hands bore the marks of His love for you , just give Him a chance to show His love for you
this is not a condition nor any ultimatum laid out for you
Its is your right to be happy and blessed and restored
Accept it and claim it in His precious name !
( pls forgive me if there is any offense , I just need to tell you , I felt that burden in my heart to let you know)
take care !
Francis Lim
Dear Shin,
I have just signed up for G-mail just to communicate with you.
I tried sending this just a few minutes ago but am not sure it has reached you. So here I am, writing to you again.
The best legacy one can give to his/her children is a spiritual legacy - knowing the true and loving God experientially. Parents who have the true knowledge live out that knowledge and pass it on to the next generation.
Children can live out their lives not to please their parents but to acknowledge the righteous God who will judge their actions.
From your blog, I know your deep love for your children. So I would encourage you to seek to respond spiritually to give your children the real treasure that money or even your love cannot give.
Phoebe
Phoebe,
You don't need to sign up for G-mail to leave comments on my blog. Under "Choose an identity", you can choose "Name/URL" or "Anonymous".
If you've been following my blog, you know that I'm not religious. I believe the greatest legacy I can leave behind for my children is the example of how I lived my own life - the good and the bad.
I don't claim to have "true knowledge" of anything spiritual, and I'm suspicious of anyone who does. Faith is not a matter of knowledge; by definition, it's the opposite - belief without evidence, without knowledge of its verity.
Why is there always a propensity for lengthy discussions of God between people & someone who's in the face of death?
Ronnie Ng,
Because religious people think they can score points with God if they can lead someone to a deathbed conversion?
Hey Shin, this is the first time im reading your blog and one of the minor times that i even read a blog, i get to know of your blog after i saw the show bout you on channel8. After watching i feel i should post something on how i feel. Sorry my English is not perfect.
I admire your optimism on how u can live life to the fullest with the illness you had now. I'm sure u had inspired many people on how u cope with it.
You had planned your kids future, doing whatever you can do now for them, I'm very touched by it! And I'm your kids would be very proud to have a mother like you when they come to realized it in the future as they grow older.
Brightese Blessings to you Shin.
Cheers.
Rie
Shin, just want to tell you that you are simply awesome! And, I share the same thoughts you have about eternity. I can't imagine an eternal life where I have nothing to look forward to!
What is love when there is no pain?
What is peace when there is no anger?
What is joy when there is no sadness?
What is courage when there is no fear?
What is life if there is no death?
To embrace life, one need to embrace death. You have showed us that it can be done!
Just saw the TV program about you. Wanna say that your courage and perseverance are inspiring. Thank you for reminding us how to live and live it to the fullesst. God bless.
Watching CH8 now. Be strong and God bless you and your family : )
Hi Shin,
I am typing this comment while watching the TV programme featuring you. I was diagnosed with last stage testicular cancer last July. My cancer cells had spread to my lymph nodes, lungs and especially my liver (10cm big)!
Throughout my treatment, many people, including my oncologist, thought I wouldn't make it. But I am proud to tell you that this month I am getting married and yes, I am extremely healthy!
God bless...
I simply can't do the whole God thing. I am not sure who could cope with this conversation after losing someone as close as I did, as many have, and as Tony, Josie and Toby face the possibility of doing.
Everyone is entitled to THEIR opinion but they should leave it at that. Do not try to convert people - your God, in his greatness, would be able to do this a million times over should he feel it were required.
Is there an afterlife? Who knows?!
In actual fact... WHO CARES?????????
I sure as hell don't, with many a close family member already there and the prospect of losing one of my dearest friends to it, I would rather enjoy the living, every second of it. Because THE PRESENT DOES EXIST.
Hi Shin,
I just saw you on TV and really respect your courage. Just want to let you know I'll be praying for you and your family. Take care.
Hi Shin.
My name is Siying here. I found your blog through the Channel 8 TV show. You are a brave woman with determination and hope. Knowing that your birthday is coming, I would like to wish you HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND ENJOY YOUR BIG DAY! Your courage has inspired me. Thank you, Shin.
With love from Siying.
Hi Shin,
My mum loves me as much as you love your children and I can empathise with how it would feel to have a loved one leave us. I just could not imagine life without mum's love. But I believe mummy's love is always with us (I think your children believe it, too).
Your birthday is approaching, 12 November, if I did not hear wrongly. Care nothing more than for the warmth and love from your loved ones and yes, your steadfast friends... Care nothing more than about the many years to come for you!
I have put your blog link into mine, and I will read your blog entries to give me more aspirations and courage to move on! Likewise, your family, especially your children, will find it too!
Take care.
Dear Shin.
Watched your documentary. Thanks so much for reminding us how to live, to cherish what we have, to give without receiving. Live strong, and live well.
Hello Shin.
I happened to see you on TV just now and was really touched, touched by the determination and courage that you have. Then I found your blog. You are a great mother with all the love you have for your family, but throughout the show, there was no mention of whether or not you had a religion. And it kind of struck me that here's such a wonderful person yet if she doesn't come to know God and to believe and be saved, everything done on Earth will be futile. And so I'm writing you to see if maybe you would like to hear more and read more about the Bible and know more about God? Maybe know more about being a Christian, and to maybe just take it as widening your views of religion?
Take care and God Bless.
My friend once told me: Bible... Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.
Anonymous,
Thanks for your interest in introducing me to religion, but I've grown up with it all my life. My father, brother, and sister-in-law are all pastors. I also studied Christianity at university.
I don't believe in the Christian God and I don't believe my life on Earth is futile. I think that's an insult to whoever or whatever created this Earth for us.
If you're interested in my views on God and religion, go to the top of the blog page to the SEARCH field and type in the words "God" or "religion". That should give you all my previous posts on those topics.
Dear Shin,
Love that is genuine arises from a pure heart and seeks no return for oneself - not for self-gratification or self-glory. The well-being and good of the recipient is the motivation of a giver of genuine love.
Phoebe
Hi Shin.
Saw you on Channel 8 and I must say you are indeed very inspiring to me. Very candid, very true, very charming.
I was diagnosed with Stage I breast cancer in 2001 and had a relapse in 2007 that had spread to the lymph nodes. I had a hard time coming to terms with the recurrence but with support from family and friends, I slowly accepted it.
Now, I take one day at a time and live life to the fullest. I admire your courage and positive outlook! You will be in my prayers from now on. Let's fight this battle and win! Wishing you a Happy Birthday and many more to come !!
From,
Spy
Hi Shin.
Watched you on TV last night. My children, aged 10, 7 and 2 were watching with me. They were very quiet through the whole show, but afterwards, they had a lot of questions to ask.
I told them that Aunty Shin is a very beautiful and brave mummy. Although she is sick, she is still happy. She treasures every minute and second that God gives her. And we have a lot to learn from you.
Shin, thanks for not only teaching me but also my 3 kids what is meaningful in life. We dare not take things for granted anymore but will treasure what we are and have now. Life is more meaningful to me now, thanks.
Hope you continue to be brave and joyful and I want to wish you a very Happy and Blessed Birthday in advance.
Lots of love,
Cyn Puan
Dear Shin,
Here's another one who read your blog after the documentary about you. I like how you've employed the "pass-it-on" attitude; how joy and love shine through every entry of yours!
Hmm... I'm a believer, and NO I don't think I'm going to type more verses and persuasion speeches. (No offence to those who did :P ) My take on this would be, if you know what you need to know, how God died for us and so on, and if there is no way you could believe all of that, then I think we should just leave the choice to you. Only God has the power to open up your eyes, and I think our role (Christians) here, is to let people know the Word, and if there are any queries, answers given should be based on the Bible, as much as possible.
Just placed myself in your shoes, and I thought I'd be mighty offended if there were loads of people trying to influence my take on religion.
I really don't mean to offend anyone, believer or not. Just that, I don't think God would want His bunch of believers trying to take over His job. If we trust God, then we'll leave things in His hands.
I apologise for such a first impression given, and I look forward to many more entries of courage, strength and joy.
In any case, just wanna end off with this: Jesus still loves you. No matter what you think : )
Cheers,
von
Hi Shin.
I watched the show on Channel 8. By the end of the show, I was touched and knew more about cancer. So I hope that you will get better and better.
This blog entry reminded me of a picture taken during my uncle's last trip to Bali, a week before pancreatic cancer took him away from us.
It was taken from the rear angle of my uncle in a wheelchair, looking at a dusty sun setting at the far horizon on some Bali beach.
This picture left me with deep impressions of anger, many regrets and a reminder of my uncle's stubbornness, or rather my mother's side of the family genes.
My cousin told us during the wake that my uncle wished to see the sunset once again in Bali, which he had enjoyed very much before the cancer diagnosis.
My uncle was very upset when he saw the wheelchair during their departure to Bali. In fact, he had stubbornly refused the wheelchair for months when walking seemed impossibly difficult.
Nevertheless, he relented and allowed himself to be strolled to the beach on the wheelchair after every step seemed an eternity.
As he viewed the beautiful sunset, he told my cousins that he was very glad that they had brought the wheelchair as otherwise he would not have embraced this beautiful moment.
My uncle passed away a week or two after returning from Bali and he did not get much use of the wheelchair, I think, as he was too weak to sit up by then.
I think I will give my cousin a call tomorrow for a copy of the photo as remembrance.
P.S. I will share the regrets & anger part on some other appropriate post.
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