Tuesday, January 27, 2009

A Brilliant Life

Our Shin died in her sleep this afternoon.

She was pain free, stress free and peaceful. She did it her way!

Shin decided long ago to donate her body to science and education in order to help find something that will cure this horrible disease. Her generosity continues.

There were many, many people who helped Shin over the three years since she was diagnosed. Friends, doctors, nurses and family. Shin was constantly amazed by the love and kindness shown to her by everyone.

We are organizing a memorial service for Shin, that may be as early as this Saturday. We’ll post again soon when we have more details.

Obviously this is a sad time for all of us, but for now, everyone is holding up really well. We have openly explained to Josie and Toby as well as Michelle, Alicia’s and Katie’s children what was happening to Shin and how we should say good bye. The kids have been amazingly resilient, as well as loving and supporting each other.

We plan to share some more of our thoughts and feelings of what these past few weeks have been like for us. We thought it might give more completeness to this Blog of Shin’s. But for now we need some time with our thoughts and memories.

Tony & Michelle

95 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear that...Stay strong just the way Shin did yea?

Co Co said...

I dun know how to react when I saw this article. I felt so sad and really wanna cried out. My grandma passed away last year on 26 Jan due to cervical cancer. Now it's Shin....I dun know how to describe my feeling.

Shin...you will always be remembered with ur strong determination and ur great love towards Josie and Toby.

I will miss you and thanks for giving me a chance to know you and learn from you!

Anonymous said...

I just want to let you know that how much Shin's life has made an impression on mine after I was diagnosed with cancer. My heart goes out to all of you. Your love and care for Shin have deeply touched me. Please take care.

mdspencer said...

Even though I've been waiting for this news I was dumbstruck when it came. Shin and I only met through henna but I enjoyed our e-mail exchanges and I like to think we became friends. She will be so broadly and deeply and sorely missed.

I can't help but hope that there IS a heaven, because I can picture Shin laughing about it. "St. Peter, I was just kidding. Really." And then "Now where's the God guy? I've got a few points for him to hear."

God bless you, Shin, may flights of angels bring you to your rest.

Monique Doyle Spencer

Anonymous said...

Peace to you all. Her legacy will continue..

maggie said...

Dear Shin,
Goodbye. U have been a very brave person. U show me what courage is and U definitely will be a strong influence in my life. I am happy that U are finally painfree. I am sure the legacy U left behind for your children are huge. My regret is I do not know U personally.Yet, i feel I have lost a good friend.

writerinresidence said...

Dear Tony and Michelle. Thank you for letting us know, as I'm sure, those of us who are not that close but who care about Shin and all whom she holds dear, have all been checking the site intra-day. That's what I've been doing. Tony, Josie and Toby, please do accept mine and my family's heartfelt condolences as I've talked to family about Shin, since I found early last year. One day, I hope I can be of help to you and to the kids. Wishing you well always. Noelle

Anonymous said...

Shin fought the good fight, and on her own terms. Although a stranger, I grieve for the loss of this courageous woman.

Meng Yew said...

Tony, my deepest condolences to you. Please take care through this tough period.

ALI KATI said...

I was just leaving a meeting when I got a text from Lynn, letting me know that Shin had passed. Afterwards, I found myself walking, without intent or direction, just walking way across town, even though I'd bought this hugely overpriced travel card.

And despite my camera having been fixed and being surrounded by ancient architecture and street scenes, both my eyes and my lens were glued to the ground.

I don't know how long I walked, but after a while, the sun started to shine quite brightly. It actually got a little hot for the first time this wintry month. Suddenly, I noticed a number of things - young lovers smoking in a doorway, construction workers lazing around - and I suddenly thought - Shin would march up to them, whip the cigarettes out of their mouths and tell them to buck up. Suddenly, I had to keep it together, because now I fear Shin can see I'm being morose and would tell me off. I wouldn't have been surprised the sun finally got it together today because she'd reprimanded it for our dismal demeanors.

I guess that's how my thoughts have gone - despite my biggest regret of never having the change to meet her physically, I'm so glad for the contact we did have. I'm deeply appreciative for her generosity of spirit, her courage and verve to take on the world and everyone else, if she had to. Now I just like to think that she's moved up to upper management, and she'll take a hand in helping us kick the world into shape.

Perhaps it's cold comfort in your time of loss, but many of us around the world have been touched by her, and her memory is very much alive with us too. My thoughts are with Josie, Toby and Tony, Michelle and everyone close to her. Please don't hesitate to let me know if there's anything I can do for you.

Joselyn/JiaYi said...

To your condolences, I've got to know Shin through her documentary.
Since then i started to follow Shin's blog.. I felt very happy that she is finally pain free. Rest in peace.

Anonymous said...

She fight a great battle. She is such a brave woman.

Most importantly, she fight it with the smile on her face always, the love in her heart all the time and the warmth she makes people feel.

My deepest condolences to her love ones, family and friends...

Be strong, as she always has been..

Love,
just a reader

Vivian said...

Condolences to Tony, Josie and Toby. Please take care and I know that Shin would like each one of you to share the positive attitude that she had always have in her.

Pip said...

I'm really sorry. As a silent reader, I have been reading about how upbeat, quirky and lovely Shin is, how much she love life, and have often wished I had the tenacity to do what she would've done.

The last few entries have left me with dread, but now, her struggles are over.

Take comfort that Shin has had such an amazing life, an amazing touch beyond others, that you, Josie and Toby all can be proud of.

Junita Tan said...

Dear Josie and Toby,

Your mummy is a wonderful woman... she touches so many people hearts without ever knowing them...

Her love for you is so intense and powerful that I, a complete stranger following her blog, can feel it from just reading the blogs.

Remember this... your mummy loves you.. no matter where she is.

xueli said...

god bless and condolences to every one close to shin.

GB said...

Very sad to hear that Shin has left us..we will miss you darling!! Shin was an AMAZING woman who we will never forget...You have our love, prayers, and best wishes

Greg, Tomoko Hannah and Harry Beitchman

Texas Lou said...

I sit here in a small town in West Texas, U.S.A. with tears in my eyes and a heavy heart. I have been reading Shin's blog for about a year and her writing was such that you felt you really knew her.I will keep all of you, her family, in my thoughts and prayers as you will need lots of strength to get past the huge void that will be in your lives. Her blog was a wonderful piece of literature for guiding Josie and Toby as they grow up. They can read it and understand how much their mother loved them and oh how much she wanted to stay here for them.

Gavin Ong said...

Dear Tony and Michelle,
Thank you very much and you know what, Shin triumphed because she didn't let sickness take her away like it would had easily.

She fought till the end and her life should be celebrated, for the fighter she was and a Mummy that Josie and Toby WILL be proud of!

My thoughts are with you guys through this difficult time.

Please take care and do post on the memorial service details, please.

Sincerely,
Gavin

Holly said...

Goodbye, Shin.
I'm glad you were peaceful and comfortable when you went.

I only wish you could do one more blog post, now that you know the answer to some big questions!

Glad I knew you in this life.

Anonymous said...

shin, i have been thinking of you constantly ever since i knew of you and your blog through the tv program.

you were on my mind constantly even when i was out of the country, and you would pop into my head at strange random intervals.

i am very sure that a few years from now, i will still be thinking about you and wondering how your beautiful family is.

i just hope that the words you have written in this blog will still be around then, so that i can read and re read all you have written, and hopefully as i grow in age, i will be able to gain a little bit of your wisdom.

i believe you will grow still everyday, not only with your family and friends and loved ones but also with all of us. thank you for teaching me so much.

Anonymous said...

be happy! coz she is in the hands of god with only love and happiness. free from suffering. free from pain. free from worries. free from sorrows.

Jason Tan

Anonymous said...

May you rest in peace Shin.
My condolences and heartfelt thoughts to Tony, Josie, Toby, the family and all Shin's friends.

See you on Saturday,

Teresa and Skylar

Pati said...

Three years ago, Shin could have chosen to fight quietly and privately. That she chose to share her journey, and to educate along the way, speaks volumes about the kind of woman she became. I knew the college girl very briefly, and only reconnected after her cancer fight had begun. I'm glad I did.
My heart bleeds for all of you.
Pati

Ted Morley said...

Tony -- Our thoughts, condolences are with you and your beautiful children.

For all her bravery and strength, she could not have lived and died with the grace and dignity that she did without your constant love and support.

Godspeed, Shin.

Ted Morley, Columbia Class of '88
Denizen of 11 Carman

Anonymous said...

I am really very sad to heard that shin passed away. she is a brave woman.shin rest in peace.

From:yenming

Anonymous said...

My deepest sympathy to Tony and family and friends.

Shin, a BRAVE WARRIOR has fought the good fight and will be deeply missed.

Tony, you are a wonderful husband, always there for her and traveling the difficult journey with her right to the very end.

Josie and Toby, you should be so proud of your mother Shin who is a TRUE WARRIOR, never giving up and fighting to the very end. She loves you both so much.

Michelle, a truly amazing friend, definitely a cut above the rest.

And also to her family and wonderful friends for supporting her through her difficult journey. You are all fabulous.

Stay strong and may the love of those around you help you through the days ahead.

Anonymous said...

my condolences to shin's loved ones.
goodbye shin.

Anonymous said...

My condolences to Tony, Josie and Toby.

As i have lost my husband recently to cancer and we also have 2 young kids so i can understand the feeling. Shin's blog and her sharing has helped alot of cancer patients and even family members in ways more than she knows. I am one of them.

Hoping the family will find strength in the midst of grieving. Although i do not know Shin personally, but from her blog, I believe Shin would want everyone to continue to live life to the fullest, exactly like what she did.



Regards,
Evelyn

Anonymous said...

Rest in peace Shin.

Tony, Toby and Josie, Chin up and Smile. Be courageous.

God Bless Us all.

Kathie said...

Dear Tony, Josie and Toby,

My deepest condelences to you. Tony, remember Shin's smile to keep you going.

Josie and Toby, your resilence and loving support for each other and daddy will make your mummy proud.:)

Tony & Michelle, guess we were all kind of expecting this day to come. Yet, when I read your posting, it still comes as a shock.

Yeah, lately it has become unbearable to read some of the postings as it revealed of the pains Shin went through.

Shin, your spirit and strength lives on, in Josie and Toby and all whom you have touched.Good bye!

Kathie

Anonymous said...

I am lost for words. I have been following Shin's story for quite some time and I am full of admiration for her. She has been an inspiration to us all, made us laugh and made us cry and she will be forever in our hearts. Thanks to the family for keeping us informed and this way letting us a bit closer to her. Take good care!

lisacc said...

It is a huge loss for everyone.

I am glad at least that the last time was not too drawn out, and that you have recent memories of Shin being alert and in good humour, and that your care and the medical treatment lessened her suffering.

Although you will have been preparing for this for months, it doesn't lessen the impact or the grief or the pain. Friends and family are the most important thing right now so lean on one another as much as you can.

Every time someone dies before their time it is a waste. In Shin's case it is even more of a loss, because she was so young, she gave so much, and she had so much love and talent and wisdom still to give.

Love to all of you,

Lisa
xxx

Anonymous said...

My heart goes out to Tony, Josie and Toby and all your family. Today, I had my one year follow-up appointment with my oncologist. After a year of chemo, radiation and now a five-year regime of hormonal treatment ahead of me...the question I had for my oncologist was, "how do I know I am cured?" Shin went through something similar and thought she was going to be okay and then cancer attacked again. This has only been eighteen months for me, but I feel I will always be looking over my shoulder for signs of cancer returning.

I understand what Shin struggeled with but I am sure that she will be remembered and her spirit will stay with her children throughout their lives.

My most sincere condolances.

Yvonne said...

Tony, my deepest condolence to you, Josie and Toby. I will miss Shin very much. We have met once during shooting of Pink Paddle, and since than I have followed her blog almost daily and exchanges emails. I have learnt a lot from this strong woman and I know she wants each of us to be strong like her. Take care and be strong. I am sure she is looking down from heaven and in such a beautiful place which we will meet again one day. Love & Peace.

Chris said...

I am lucky to have known Shin, and it is easy for me to remember her with laughter and fun, sipping drinks on the Singapore coast. Cancer can rob us of so much. It ripped through my family before we left Singapore, taking my parents. But it can't touch our warmest memories. Our hearts are with you in this testing time.
--The Kaufmans

Rach said...

To Tony, Joise, Toby and Michelle, Mary and Alisa,
Feeling very sad. So sorry for all that you and Shin have had to go through. I have thought of you all everyday over the last few months. She was a truely unique, one off individual with a very big heart. She probably saved my life and took all the scariness out of the world of cancer for me. I will really miss her... and have missed her over the last few months. May the spirit of Shin live on. If there is anything you want me to do then please just let me know. Love Rach.

Anonymous said...

Thought I will be reading something "good" when I saw the title but my heart ache when read that Shin has died......but feel console that she died peaceful and is in her sleep which she hopes to die "Graceful". That's very amazing and not many can die in such peaceful way.

Shin is indeed very brave, very very positive and real person! She is lucky to have so many ppl to love and support her, but the thought of leaving her loves ones must be tough on her too, die in her sleep will also prevent her feeling from the "can't bear", she is really very great and her death in this way has in a way enable us not to feel so "bad" about her death. But still very shocked though sort of "prepared" ... Michelle, does Shin has any unfulfilled wish or worries? Is so noble and kind hearted of her to donate her body and hope she will be happy in her world and watching her love ones. Hope you and Alicia can "keep an eye" and visit Toby and Josie esp when they are growing up...Tony will have a "hard" time too (play both roles and without Shin life)...Also Shin's parents and Tony's parents...pls send our condolences to them...SHIN IS REALLY A VERY RARE PERSON(not only very brave...really not many are not afraid of death, many said not afraid but Shin is really very great and brave to face death bravely) AND WE ARE VERY PROUD OF HER!

Anonymous said...

I am a long time reader of this blog. When I read about her favourable brain scan results, I knew bad news would soon follow. Yet I can't believe she has gone. We knew news of her death would be part of this blog but yet it reflects a person who is so full of life. When I knew she was ill, I no longer commented on this blog as I did not want to take away whatever little time she had left. I miss her!

Lee Foong Ming said...

Dear Tony, Josie and Toby,

Thank you for sharing Shin so much with us. She's an incredibly beautiful person, one who has shown us what it means to live and to love. I can just hear and see her singing "My Way", breathless yet with the sparkle in her eyes undimmed, a lingering smile on her face.

And Michelle, thank you for showing us what it means to be a friend, to be the wind beneath Shin's wings in these last few weeks.

God bless Shin, and God bless all of you who mean so much to her.

Foong Ming

Anonymous said...

I feel compelled to comment here now, and to send my deepest condolences to you all.

I have been following this blog for some time - and am honoured and grateful to have been allowed a sneaky insight into the life of someone like Shin. I was introduced to her blog by a friend who knows the family, and sitting here on the other side of Singapore, thoughts of the children fill my head and my heart. Every time I drive over in your direction, I wonder where you guys are, and what you are doing.

Just know, in your deepest grief, that it is ok to be angry; it is ok to be beside yourself; and it is ok to laugh. And in the midst of it all, please know that there are people all over the world, and also closer to home that think of you, and raise you up at this time.

I really love the image in John Donne's poem: 'A valediction: forbidding mourning'. He describes love in many ways in this poem, but the one I like the best, is that when someone is far away or unseen, it doesn't mean that your love is lessened. Quite the opposite: it means that it is actually spread far and wide and deep and high and made so much bigger. Shin may not be with you in person any longer, but her love for you, and your love for her will spread over time and space and expand with every memory and every word from yet another who has been touched by her in their life.

Bless you all through this time, and in the times to come.

Suz

Leighbee said...

I (like many others I am sure) have just found my world to stop spinning as I read the news we've all been expecting but in truth would never be ready for...
The passing of Shin leaves the world without a very special person in the physical sense but on a different plane, she will ALWAYS live on. A woman of such incredible stature, eminating love and intelligence through every pore cannot just "disappear" in her sleep. She has educated so many and graced them with her friendship. I am humbled to have known her and will always remember the strength and courage she has shown us all. Our love and thoughts are with you all at this terribly sad and difficult time..... May some of her strength live on within you to help guide you through the following months. Thank you for helping Shin during her battle, by contributing to the "story" and allowing us all to be part of it. As always.....if there is anything we can do.....
Try to cry tears of happiness for having known this wonderful lady, rather tears of sadness for what you have lost...Easier said than done I know, but I also know thats how she would have wanted it....

Anonymous said...

I have been following and posting comments to Shin and feel very sad now, I went to watch the documentary videos again...Yes, Shin must be feeling hard to deal with the thoughts of having to leave her love ones and her children growing up without her...Is really hard for her and she still had to deal and tolerate physical pains,etc...SHIN is really very positive and courageous! Tony, Josie and Toby and all should be very proud and happy and lucky to have her and also she is lucky to have so many ppl to love and support her...She is really lucky in this aspect...

She is constantly worried about her kids and yet she didn't pamper them even she knows she will die anytime, that's not easy and will be very struggle for me if I were her...don't want the kids to have bad impression of her yet she didn't spoilt them just because of that because she constantly wanting to impart morals, manners, etc in them...I think that's what all mothers(responsible ones) would want....Hope Tony and even Michelle,Alicia, can "help" Shin to impart all that in guiding Josie and Toby... Tony, pls stay strong too, you have a great wife and I am really amazed by both of you in a way that both of you. Shin is lucky to have you as husband and you are also very lucky to have her as wife and have these 2 wonderful kids that she left you with.

Michelle and Alicia, I know is also very hard on both of you too, but from experience, is always the AFTER funeral period that the deceased love ones will feel very sad or have time to cry...I experience that b4...when after the funeral, settle everything, when alone, is the worst time...Hope you all don't leave the family all at a go...slowly so that there won't be such a great difference in coping "suddenly lost and quietness"...that's hard to cope...Shin must be very worried for her parents too...saw the documentary too and she is the one to console her friends, that's not easy...SHIN, YOU ARE REALLY A VERY GREAT PERSON, YOU HAVE POSITIVE IMPACT ON MANY! I am sure Tony, Toby and Josie are proud and fortunate to have you! We will remember you even we don't know you in person.

Anonymous said...

Dear Tony (and all his loved ones)

My deepest condolences to you and all your loved ones

The courage of Shin Na is a testimony to all of us

She was a brave and frank lady who showed us all here what is the meaning of courage

I will definitely miss her immensely

It will be a void now each time I turn on my laptop , after writing and getting responses from her all these months I am left with only silence

Stay strong as she would have wanted you to , Tony


Agape

Anonymous said...

I cried aloud when I saw this. Somehow over the mths, I have intuitively able to feel shin. Yesterday, despite a busy CNY, I chose to log in at 12 am last nite cos I felt unright.

I spend the next few mins crying out. Shin, u have been such an admirable & talented woman. I wish you well in new life in heaven. My thoughts will always be with you.

Wei wei said...

hi there, i have created a facebook group in memory of her. i thought it will be nice to seek ur permission before opening it public. is it ok?

Jason said...

Way to go girl Shin!!! I'm sure Josie and Toby be taken care of... May you find eternal peace...

Regards

Anonymous said...

Pls send my love to Josie and Toby. My heart aches to know that these 2 lovely kids have lost their beloved mummie. Stay strong for them.

Neighbour christel said...

Shin,

I am so sad you have passed away and that your family and friends will miss you so much. I admire your courage, strength and humour.

May God comfort your loved ones.

Karin said...

No words can convey my sorry for your loss. Shin helped me so much! I will miss her!

Mandy Lee said...

Athough it is difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, may looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

Shin,

Goodbye.You are a brave woman. I've been following your blog since the day I watched the documentary. You are a reminder to me to be brave and face the world with a positive fighting spirit. You've inspired many and your life story will be a great inspiration to your children and family. My deepest condolences to Tony and family.
- TN

Elaine said...

Although I don't know Shin personally but I started reading her blog after the documentary. I think she is a very strong woman and a wonderful mum.

Her battle will be remembered by me forever. I am sad but also glad that she can rest in peace now.
Thank you Michelle for your care for love for Shin.

Ryann de mummie said...

Shin,
your courage, determination, fighting spirit and your love for your family amazed me every time.

You have fought the battle your way and you have won it because your strong determination is here to stay in every reader's heart forever.

Through your words, you have not only taught me how to be a mother but also to appreciate what i have and not being upset about what i don't have.

Thank Shin. You will always be remembered by me.

Anonymous said...

Tony
My deepest condolences to you. Take care.

Josie & Toby
Be strong like your mummy!

Michelle
Thank you!

Louise said...

My deepest condolences to Tony, Josie and Toby and to Shin's family and wonderful friends. Stay strong.Love Louise

Anonymous said...

I've just heard the news. At least, Shin is now at peace. Let her memory live on, and thank you all for sharing your remarkable and inspiring story. Stay strong.xx

Anonymous said...

I have been following her blog religiously to follow up on Shin's progress. Despite battling this illness, her thoughts, her feelings her intuitions were all for her family. This brave woman will always live in my heart, as we go about our daily lives. I will remember her for her strength and resilience. 'Knowing' her is the best gift for all of us.

My deepest condolences. Her life well-lived is worth a celebration.

Yinvonne

Anonymous said...

Shin has left such a positive effect on everyone who has had even the slightest contact with her. I had the utmost privilege of having met her and had many a meaningful dialogue with her. She touched me and my family and will live on in my memory forever. Thinking of Tony, Josie, Toby, Michelle and all her wonderful family and friends at this time.

Anonymous said...

Dear Tony, Josie and Toby, Michelle and friends,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My tears are testament to the fact that, although many of us never got to know Shin well, she managed to touch many of us deeply through her unconditional and unceasing love for her children -- the reason for this blog. You have the best Mommy ever, Josie and Toby, and she will continue to watch over you and live in your hearts. Don't every forget that.

Big hugs to you Tony.. You have been a rock for Shin and your children.

I am so glad Shin was able to have a peaceful death.

XO Natalia

Stella said...

She has so become a part of my life. "Let's see what is Shin up to?" hangs on my head almost every day and like this morning. But this morning is different from other. While I look forward to her update, I always have this fear that THE NEWS is going to confront me one day. I took a while to consolidate my mixed feelings ... sad that she has passed on and sad for the family... happy that the process was easy for her and she did not live a minute less. The way she wanted it to be.

Larry & Roxana Sopala said...

We just want to send our love and prayers for an old friend from Columbia in Paris & New York, and from when she was teaching in Indiana. Unfortunately, we lost touch when Shin moved to Asia, but got back in touch after she let the alumni magazine know about her illness. It's a terrible shame that this disease took away Shin at such a young age, and with such young children, and we feel for her, Tony and the kids. The same thing happened in our family, and it takes quite a while, but somehow we continue on, with the memory of those we lost helping us along.
Take care, and please let us all know about the memorial service.
-Larry Sopala & Roxana (Fernandez) Sopala and kids in Chicago. Columbia & Barnard 1988

Anonymous said...

We will all missed Shin so dearly....
Tony & Michelle please be strong now for Josie & Toby coz there are a lot more to settle...
Please keep us posted on the memorial service...

Mandy

Anonymous said...

Josie and Toby, you have to be strong. As we all know, mummy is always in your heart. And Shin will be always in our heart too. May god sends you to a better place...

Anonymous said...

Is Shin "prepared"? I feel sad and wonder if Shin "knows" she won't be able to wake up from the afternoon nap? What were her last words?...*sob*

But consoling to know that she is stress free and pain free...are the kids,etc by her bedside when she passed on? or none know until she didn't response when she is supposed to wake up? Really very concern and not just out of kpo...Has been very concern for her and feel uneasy and a feeling that Shin is going to leave us when read the earlier post but choose to believe and hope she will be ok...

Tony, Josie and Toby and all who love Shin, we are as sad as you are though we don't know Shin in person...

Aggie said...

Would like to dedicate this song to Shin and all others whose lives she has touched one way or another.

Like A Comet
Blazing 'Cross The Evening Sky
Gone Too Soon

Like A Rainbow
Fading In The Twinkling Of An Eye
Gone Too Soon

Shiny And Sparkly
And Splendidly Bright
Here One Day
Gone One Night

Like The Loss Of Sunlight
On A Cloudy Afternoon
Gone Too Soon

Like A Castle
Built Upon A Sandy Beach
Gone Too Soon

Like A Perfect Flower
That Is Just Beyond Your Reach
Gone Too Soon

Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight
Here One Day
Gone One Night

Like A Sunset
Dying With The Rising Of The Moon
Gone Too Soon

Gone Too Soon

- "Gone Too Soon" Michael Jackson

Jeannie said...

Shin,

You were my oldest friend.

I met you in the 5th grade at Korean Church in Nashville, TN. One day you announced you
were moving away to Cherry, Hill, NJ. From then on, we wrote to each other
regularly throughout the years... until college.

You had shared your hopes and dreams with me and I with you. I looked up
to you, friend who was 5 days older than I.

You were the reason I even though about going to Princeton, a place I had never known before.
You always made me laugh and think about things. You were so thoughtful. I regret that I lost touch with you ... until this past
November. On your birthday when Kang forwarded your blog to me.

How bittersweet. How happy I was to have found you! I'm so happy you found
your true love. You had your beautiful children. You lived the life that
was meant to be!

Goodbye, beautiful, dear sweet friend. I'll never forget you!

Your memory will live on in so many of the lives that you have touched. You will never know how much you have touched mine.

Your friend,

Jeannie Joe

Anonymous said...

There is a saying "It's not the years in your life, but the life in your years". Shin said "I will live until I die". She lived a full and rich life, filled with lots of love from her family and friends. In the past few weeks, though we did not hear much from and about her, we all know that she got to live her life the way she wanted - enjoying happy moments with her children and family and in the end, she had a peaceful and quiet passing - all this was what she would have wanted. She did all this in her own Shin way.

Anonymous said...

Dear Shin,
I didn't know you well. We talked a few times in school and often crossed each other in the neighborhood. The last time I saw you it was at Mt. E, you passed me in the car and waved... I don't know you well but I know what an amazing woman you are and incredible mother. For some reason when I think of you I always remember the look of love in your eyes while filming the children at the school Christmas concert. The image is still vivid in my mind and of course at the time I didn't know you'd just been diagnosed. Reading your blog has been inspirational; your words and your life have given me strength. I will miss you and will always regret having missed the chance to know you better. My deepest sympathy goes to your wonderful family,Tony, Josie, Toby and the close friends that accompanied you on your last journey. Last night I couldn't sleep and, like me, many others who barely knew you; your life was short but it touched so many and your memory will stay with us for a very long time after you're gone.
Goodbye,
A Siglap mum

Anonymous said...

Shin's bravery and your support are amazing! Her spirit will live on amongst all of us readers.

Please remember that it is ok to be sad and weak every now and then - the lovely memories you have of Shin will comfort you along the way.

Wishing you all the best!

Anonymous said...

I only found Shin's blog a few days ago, I am so sorry for your loss, she seemed to be an incredible person in every way.

Kai said...

Me and Zaf will forever have Shin in our hearts.

Her strength inspired us and her smile brought us hope.

I'll never forget that smile... ever.

We love you, Shin.

nakochong said...

we all think Shin would have liked this poem :

Death Be Not Proud


Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so ;
For those, whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleep, which but thy picture[s] be,
Much pleasure, then from thee much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery.
Thou'rt slave to Fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,
And poppy, or charms can make us sleep as well,
And better than thy stroke ; why swell'st thou then ?
One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And Death shall be no more ; Death, thou shalt die.

John Donne

Tony said...

Wei Wei, Its a nice of you to set up a facebook group for Shin. I'm not sure exactly what that implies, but keep us updated on how it goes.

Tony, Shin's Husband

Tony said...

Anon, you asked if Shin was prepared. Yes, she new exactly what would happen as we increased the meds. She had said her goodbye's and was comfortable that everything was in order. I plan to post more on this later.

Tony, Shin's husband

Anonymous said...

I am sad to know of Shin's passing. Ever since I started reading her blog, I have been silently praying for her. Tony, I want you to know that Shin has been an encouragement to me, especially her fighting spirit in the challenges in her life. I am indeed a life that was blessed. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Rest in Peace, Shin.

Josie & Toby, Your mother is a strong lady.

Take care, Tony.

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much Tony for telling us that and really appreciate and looking forward to know bits of Shin's last days. I can picture the scene, Shin must be comforting the tears of all her love ones while saying good bye...

Take good care of yourself, Tony, Michelle and Alicia...Saw how Alicia cried in the video and even when Shin tears, she tears smiling and comforting Alicia...That's must be similar scene but with more tears from more ppl...feel ache but comfort that she knew and had said her good bye...

Jeannie said...

Tony, Josie, and Toby, I am very sorry for your loss. Your mother was an incredible woman and generous until the very end. I am fairly certain that I have a shoebox or two of her letters at my parent's house in Nashville from grades 6-12. If you would like to have them, they are yours. My mom may not be able to locate them without my assistance and I'm not sure when I will be out there again, but if you are interested, send me your address. You will be in my thoughts. Thank you Michelle for keeping this post. You will be in my thoughts as well. What a kind and thoughtful friend you have been.

Emberlynn said...

My deepest condolences to Tony & family...

Million thx to Michelle for updating tis blog on behalf on Shin...

As for our dearest Shin, u will be greatly remembered for your bravery and generosity in sharing lots of information with lots of readers through this blog. I am really really glad to have known u thru tis blog and u definitely inspired my life greatly.You are indeed a very brave person who taught me what courage was and how to handle obstacles in life. You fought a good fight and did it your way!
Thank you and you will always be remembered, my dear fren

Josie and Toby,
always remember that mummy is in your heart...

Victor said...

My deepest condolences. Even with her passing, Shin continues to inspire many others. She's just amazing.

Oceanic said...

My heart will always with your family. Shin's in a better place and I am as shocked as anyone here over in Tokyo. Am heading back to SG on Sat morning and hope to attend her memorial.

Please do continue to keep us updated. And take gd care of Toby, Josie and Tony. If u need any help, please let me know. I have flexible working hours.

God bless and be with you. Be strong.

Hugs!

Anonymous said...

Tony & Michelle, Thank you so much for empowering Shin to do it her way, pain free and with her kids. It must have been so hard for you both, but you did wonderfully. Shin had her family with her and through this blog and in many other ways I am sure, can show Josie and Toby how much she loved them whenever they need reassurance. I am devasted that this happened to Shin, but she has inspired me, and if my cancer should come back, I will try my best to do it her way, as I believe she did it the best way it could possibly be done. Tony - if you need ANYTHING in the future, please don't hesitate to ask. Mel Boot (Australia) xxxxxxxxxx

Anonymous said...

Shin, I'm so so sorry you can't be there with your kids, but you have left them in the care of a wonderful man who will take great care of them. Mel x

Anonymous said...

I started to follow Shin's blog and visit a few times a day...She is such a caring and frank and humble person who is so generous in sharing and giving her help and praises,despite her condition.Even when there were "harsh" comments, she take them so gracefully and without a word of harsh words but instead she explained politely and try to understand and see from positive point. That's really very hard because most of us would response by feeling very angry, harsh words exchanged...She is the first to praise me for flair of writing in my entire life so far because never did anyone praise me (I only get mocked and discouragement), I am so "shocked" when I am praised but that certainly has positive impact on me. THANKS SHIN!

She is the one who will "forget" her condition and goes all the way to give and help even here until many of us keep posting to "remind" her don't spend time replying and responding to all those requests and religion aspects...but I am sure she still continue to help in other ways ...
I have a changed thought regarding religion : Shin is a free thinker without a religion (am I right?) yet she has the spirit of what religion is about and practise what a religion taught which many religion "believer","follower" etc are unable to do or don't even have the religion "spiritual" behaviour...No ill intention to anyone/religion but just a "awaken thought" for me! :)

Though she has her principles and "stubborness" but that make her so real and frank which are rare in this world thesedays. Tony, Josie, Toby, Michelle, Alicia,etc, and even us here are fortunate to get to know her. She is not perfect but is certainly a model for us.

I always wanted to donate my organ even b4 government make it compulsory but I never know of donating body of research but now this is my new wish. I will certainly want to donate for search because I also always think "what's the use of our body when a person die", so now my body has another use now beside donating organs :P That's the way Shin stay alive - by influencing and touching and have positive impact others. :)

Anonymous said...

I would want to die in the way Shin did ... able to say good bye,etc and then die in my sleep peacefully,painfree,stressfree...That's the way many would wanted too. Some did but not in both ways and some didn't... So Shin is "fortunate" to die in her own way! Shin did it in her way again! :) Is really amazing! :)
Her leaving is not the end but a continuous in many ways. She will always be in our hearts too!

kp said...

Tony,

I am feeling very sad about Shin's departure. I first begin to know about her and her blog via the channel 8 program on her. Since then, I have been following her blog frequently and sliently including her in my prayers. Shin was a very remarkable lady - not many people can be so rational and strong especially when faced with such a life-threatening condition. She was truly inspirational.

Through her blog, in a way, she has managed to draw people from different parts of the world to connect, and to share views on cancer treatment, diets and perspectives in many aspects. She also touched many of our hearts.

Tony, my thoughts are with you and your kids. Take care, take time to grieve and be strong. There is a long road ahead, and you will always have Shin in your kids.


warmest regards
kp

Anonymous said...

goodbye shin! rest in peace.
& to shin family, stay strong!

Hugh said...

Dear Tony,

Shin touched people's lives more than most do.

Sometimes it the small things that you remember most. I remember Shin shouting encouragement as I struggled on the last 200 metres of my marathon run in Singapore in December 2007. She probably didn't think twice about it but it was a great example of her love for life and her innate desire to celebrate human endeavour.

I know she would have hated being labelled with an "ism" but I think she was the best example of humanism, in deed and in word, that I have met.

As you face the future without her be sure to know that you, Josie and Tobie have an army of friend and acquaintances that will be there to help when needed and to share your future challenges and joy. Just as Shin would have hoped, planned and demanded in different degrees!

Hugh

Andrew Cannane said...

Dear Tony, Josie and Toby,

We have just heard your terrible news from hospital where Claudia underwent her bone marrow transplant yesterday.

We have drawn so much inspiration from Shin's brave battle with cancer to help us face the challenge of Claudia's leukaemia head on.

We look forward to seeing you at the memorial service on Saturday.

All our love,

Andrew, Rowena, Olivia and Claudia

Jill said...

Shin, I know you can never read what we have posted for you. I was really too busy with my studies and regretted not posting any message to you since early last month. I did constantly read up posts by you and later on Michelle when your condition was not that good. I felt so bad not being able to show some care and concern in person. I've got lots of words for you and I dont have that precious little chance anymore. It is really terrible for Tony, Josie, Toby and the families to lose their beloved. Even me as a stranger felt that pain, they will definitely need some time to take the fact. I believe Tony will give double love to Josie and Toby on behalf of you, you knew this too isnt it? From now on, I can never get to hear from you and get inspired by your words. What a special lady I have came across for my past 20 years of life. But what a pity is that I have not know you earlier and even meet you in person before. I'm not sure will I be able to meet someone like you again in future but what I'm very sure is that all the inspiration you had left for me is for life. Goodbye Shin! :) [I'm know you will like to see us smile and say goodbye]

Kelvin Leslie said...

Thank you Shin... you've touched lots of us ! You'll see yourself in many of us... God bless !

Jasmine said...

shin's attitude towards life have touched me. I will always remember how brave is shin, her strong determination and many things about her towards life when i face obstacles in future. I hope I can be a better person like shin before I face the real society.

Jasmine,17.

Anonymous said...

journey and fight for life...i pray for u in heaven and ur kids to be strong..i hope they will be like u, Shin...

Anonymous said...

It is remarkable, very valuable information