Thursday, January 29, 2009

Kids not flowers

We've been asked are kids invited to the service and where can flowers be sent.

Yes, kids are invited. Josie and Toby will be there and it would be good if they do not feel they were alone in this. We think we will make if fairly concise and happy enough that it won't be too much of a struggle for kids to sit though. Also there special exhibit in the next room is a kid focused exhibit.

No, please don't overwhelm us with flowers. Shin would think it would be a waste. In lieu of flowers please send a donation to Assisi Hospice (which did such a great job for Shin, more on that in a later blog), the Breast Cancer Foundation, or the Children's Cancer foundation - or any other cause you think appropriate.

And I don't mean to be unappreciative of flowers already sent. We have placed them where we placed the tree at Christmas time, and Josie said they look like a beautiful white Christmas tree.

Tony and Michelle


Anonymous said...

Tony, Michelle, I am sure those who understand Shin will be able to understand why flowers will be a waste and certainly not what Shin would prefer. :)

yes, is important and good to let Josie and Toby feel they are not alone in this but I hope to "highlight" this which Shin may have thought of too? In future days, esp, when Josie and Toby are with the other kids, and if the other kids were to mention about their (other kids) mothers spending time with them in the coming holidays,etc, or asking or "mock" at they (Josie and Toby) don't have mother,etc, is important to subconsciously "trained" them how to handle such questions and their (Josie and Toby) emotion, esp in their journey of growing up...This is what Tony will have to deal with when the kids are growing up and Tony, if you are unable to, I think is absolutely for you to seek advise and help from Michelle, Alicia, and ppl here ...That's what Shin did too, so pls do feel free to do so. :)

Anonymous said...

How are Shin parents and even your parents coping? Shin mention before about worrying how her father would cope too and I think is also worry for your mother who accompanied and helped her along ... pls send our regards and condolences to them too. BTW, Tony pls stay strong but don't suppress your grief or stress because we understand is not easy and is natural to have that kind of emotion,etc.

Anonymous said...

This is the first time I came to this blog after reading about Shin's demise in Today's paper. I cant help but rain tears as I read thru the blog post.

May you rest in peace Shin.

Anonymous said...


We are deeply saddened to hear about the loss of Shin after her long battle with cancer.

We know it has been a difficult time for you and we all know how brave and courageous Shin was fighting this battle. And we know just how much love, devotion and total commitment you put into caring for her and the kids during her illness.

Our thoughts are with you, and we will arrange to meet up with you at your convenience. But if there is something we can do, please do not hesitate to let us know.

With our deepest sympathy,

Ong Siew Mooi, Sandy Tan, Alice Lau, Tan Boon Kee, Edwin Tan, Deddy Gan, O Cheng Cheng, Shirley Foo, Jennifer Chan

Anne and Tom said...

Tony, Josie, Toby, Michelle,
I hope that you can feel the love and support directed at you from all around the world, and that it holds you up during this time. Here in Hawaii, I mourned Shin's death, and marveled at her eloquence and dedication to all of you.

I never met Shin, just through our blogs. But even in our little connection, she shared something funny and interesting. I blogged about wedding cakes, and how they usually look yucky. And she said

"I know my cancer and your wedding have nothing to do with each other, but I just had to tell you I wholeheartedly agree with your philosophy on cakes.

Those first few you showed - nice to look at, but wouldn't want to eat them. They don't even look edible. But something moist with real-cream icing... yummm."

So tonight, I was making icing for my wedding cake, and thinking of Shin. I don't have a story about her to share, but I know she liked creamy, homemade icing. And that is something that I'm happy I got to know.

With great sympathy,