Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Memorial Service

Shin's memorial service will be on Saturday at 3pm at the Asian Civilization Museum. Everyone who wishes to come should feel invited. We understand that there will be some road closures that day, so we will post more details on what to watch out for. I'd expect dress to be nice casual.

Tony, Michelle, Alicia


Anonymous said...

I am not sure if is too abrupt or rude to ask if the service can be taped and put up here for those who are unable to attend but wish to send Shin cyberly and also to see the last of her?

She will be remembered and missed by us...

Yes, hope that all who attend will be dressed appropriately and attend because of wanting to send Shin.

Rest in peace Shin. :)

LeeHJ said...

Dear Shin,

Thank you for keeping this blog. Thank you for sharing. I've finally completed reading all your blog entries. It's wonderful and marvellous. You have given me good pointers / suggestions (while I'm still alive) to leave for my little girl. Rest in peace.

Dear Tony,Josie and Toby,

Your wife/mum is truly a fighter. Pls take good care of yourselves

Tony said...

Anon, yes its a good idea and we have been thinking of finding a way to record the service and maybe post the video on Shin's Blog. But we have not worked things out yet - we'll post when we get more information.

Anonymous said...

Hi Tony,

I can help with the filming, if you like.

Shin was a truly remarkable person. I will miss coming to this blog and reading her thoughts. We didn't know each other very well but I got to spend time with her in Timor a few years ago.

Some great memories:

- Shin laughing and dancing after the elections, then stopping suddenly and saying, "This is just not the same without Tony."

- Shin surprising a bunch of street kids with boxes of food in Dili, and afterwards, scolding them for making a mess.

- The doctor at a free community clinic telling me he is ever grateful to Shin for helping raise funds for vital equipment and supplies. She just showed up one day, looked around, and decided she HAD to help.

- Shin, jumping into the sea, standing against the sun, smiling.

Take care, Tony. My thoughts are with you, Josie and Toby.


Wei wei said...

Wei wei said...

this is the group i am talking about.....

Elaine said...

My deepest condolences to you. It seems so unfair that Shin’s been snatched away in her prime. She will be greatly missed by all who knew her. She leaves behind many wonderful memories. I will never forget her boundless energy; I still shake my head in disbelief when I think of her running 12k after a chemo session and how she relentlessly kept up her blog no matter what. Thank you Michelle and Tony for keeping us all informed during these difficult times and thank you for your invitation to the memorial service. I’ll be there to say my farewells and to salute this feisty lady.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Tony.

Just watched the Oct07 clip again...Shin is really very optimistic and cheerful. Understand that you and Shin fears but both of you are dealing with it very bravely,esp Shin. Tony, take care and I am sure Shin is resting peacefully in her heaven. :) She has her wish fulfilled which many ppl hope to die in that way too but may not be, Shin is very "lucky" :) : able to die peacefully and thus not making ppl around her very sad ,and she really live till the day she had to die(I would say very fulfilling and still very positive, thinking for others,etc)

Tony, you are not alone even Shin is not around because she will be there just that is invisible and just like she said, "she will be in her (Josie) heart"...I think you and Shin have been very brave and great in able to plan and discuss what will happen to you and the kids if she dies, she is such a thoughtful person as a wife, mother,friend and daughter/DIL (I think so).

Shin will also always be in our heart though she is not here physically... I am sure you will be very sad missing her when Michelle,etc, go back, but I am sure they are certainly the persons who you can approach for "help",advises in future,esp the kids' issues and even here in cyber.

Tony do take care, the kids need you to guide them, is not easy but it can be done esp when Shin had done "future parenting" and trying very hard to do her best in that aspect...


Anonymous said...

I woke up this morning feeling said again. It’s been snowing for hours and will continue to snow all day. Between thinking of Shin and Tony and Josie and Toby, I was thinking about the annoyances of everything I needed to get done in the middle of this horrible weather and still be able to get on a plane tomorrow morning. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to keep my co-workers from seeing me cry today, about being able to wrap up all the loose ends at work, about having to clear away 8-10 inches of snow from the driveway, the sidewalks, and the stairs when I get home. I still have to pack and then drive a couple hours to meet up with mom so we can get to the airport early in the morning.

On my way into the office I didn’t feel like reading the paper so I just stared out the window. I thought some more about Shin and forced myself to try and appreciate the view. When the train went underground, I decided to get out and walk the rest of the way.

No now I’ll make this suggestion to anyone: If you have a chance to walk through Boston Common and the Public Gardens in the middle of a snowstorm, take it. It is really quite beautiful. Lifeless, but still beautiful.

Thank you Shin.

-Love Jamie

ALI KATI said...

I wish I could be there. Unfortunately, I'm in London at the moment and won't be able to make it back. I know if you haven't any other arrangements already made, Lynn would do a terrific job. My thoughts will be with you this weekend.

Anonymous said...

this is your uncle Jay and I have been following Shin's blog for some time.
We all have our own ways in which we knew Shin and in which she touched our lives. And I guess that is anyone's true legacy, the number of people they "touch" in some way.
All of my family will always know and remember Shin from that last Christmas in Connecticut. That trip and gathering was a true gift. What a joy it was!!!
She was clearly a remarkable young woman.
I am so glad that Carol's work was able to allow her to retire and be available for you to help you through this difficult time. Like Shin, Carol is a remarkable woman also, and her gifts/talents are so well suited to help you now. She is as kind and patient and understanding of a woman as I know. (if only i could convince her to become a repulican--ha ha)
You are in our thoughts and prayers. Please email me at if there is anything we can do.
we love you,
God bless you,
Jay and Fran and Alex and Jackie and Jeff Torda

Ronnie Ng said...


i haven't surfed the net for some while, & i'm a bit suprised & saddened to know that Shin had passed on. She was so strong and optimistic, so i was pretty hopeful that she'd overcome death for many good years...

Although i've only known Shin through this blog, my thoughts are with her. Wherever she has moved on to, i'm sure she'll be your guardian angel, watching lovingly over you, Josie & Toby.

Take care,

Linda Lam said...

Can't help but feel the world has lost an angel today - someone who inspired millions simply by being who she is.

Long after she is gone, I will still hold Shin in my heart and use her strength in my darkest moments when I feel it's tough to go on.

Thank you for teaching me to love my life, Shin. The world is a better place because you've walked on it.

Linda Lam said...

Tony, I feel your lost. You must be an incredible man to walked beside a phenomenal lady all the way through her pain and joy.

I can't imagine how you must have felt. To be the silent pillar of strength all these years, to tenderly care for her and make her needs more important than your own, to know you have to let her go someday yet still summon every ounce of courage to love her no less, to face your children after she's gone and raise them with everything you have... requires superhuman strength.

Death is often hardest on those left behind. I am tempted to tell you that I'm sorry for your lost but I won't. Because I think Shin has been a great gift to this world and to have experienced her is a blessing to be celebrated.

"Don't cry because she's gone. Smile because she was here." I think Shin would have wanted that.

Lastly, I'll like to leave you with my favourite poem "The Invitation" because Shin IS the most alive person I know. And I know you must be the same because you chose her.

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

FUallz said...

Dear Tony,

Though many of us here only got to know her through the internet. I wouldn't claim that I really got to know her. But it has really been an honor to have exchanged words with someone as brave as your wife. I really admired her courage to face the harsh reality. She had been a strong lady.

I'll still continue to come back every now and then to read future posts. It will serve us well as a pillar of strength, to remind us to carry on in life no matter how hard things will be in the future.

Thank you and may your family be blessed with health and happiness.

Miin said...

Dear Shin, Thank YOU for everything! You've been a wonderful blessing and will always be for me!
Dear Tony, Josie and Toby, Shin has been a blessing and inspiration, so have you all been too! I continue to stand in awe and amazement at all of you. Let's all take care and live life to the fullest!

Ryann de mummie said...

Hi all,

Video of the news with regards to Shin donating her organs (Mandarin)

Article on (Mandarin)

Anonymous said...

Laughed often, lived fully & resting in peace now. Shin will continue to inspire us with her unique blend of quiet strength, brave spirit & a mother's love.

Anonymous said...

Dear Tony,

Despite following Shin's blog and being aware of what her difficult journey could lead to, I secretly harboured thoughts that she would be with us for much longer and was half expecting her to even overcome her condition. Why not ? After all, she was such a fighter.

Today was a very sad day for us, as Mark & I found out about her passing. Her spirit will live on in her words and the memories we have of her over the years. We have learnt so much from what she's shared in her blog. I can't even imagine having the conversations that she's had with the kids, and yet, I wish every mum would have those conversations with their kids some time or other. All too often, the words just never get said.... I'm sure Josie and Toby will grow up to be very special people.

Shin has set the bar high for the rest of us to live life fully with convictions, dedication and passion for the things we believe in.

While we know you've had tremendous support from your close friends and family, we are not very far away too, and would be really happy to have Josie and Toby over again with Sonya and Oliver, when the time is right for all of you.

At this time, we just want to send all our love & prayers to you, Josie and Toby and your respective families.

We'll see you at the memorial.

Love, Verdayne, Mark, Sonya & Oliver Laudi

Mark said...

Dear Anthony,

We are very sorry to learn of Shin's passing and we are very sorry for your loss and for Josie and Toby's loss. We will always remember what a special person Shin was. We send you and the kids lots of love. We are thinking of you.


Uncle Mark, Laura, Joseph and Grandma Irene

Will said...

Sorry, I just got the news. Shedding some tears here, and processing the shock. Shin made death look a little less scary - she was so brave, facing it down with dignity and resolve and courage. Cancer didn't stand a chance against strength like that. All my love to you, from Shin's old highschool fling and long-time admirer.

Will Meyerhofer

PS: Josie and Toby, please look me up someday. I promised your mom I would share a few silly stories about what she was like as an awkward teen. She sure grew up into one magnificent lady. Maybe the New Year bring you peace and many blessings.

Christine Raza said...

I wish I could write something to say how I feel - something eloquent or thought provoking. But that is not me. That is Shin. So I will continue to read her blog over and over and hope that some of her lessons and laughter rub off on me.

Thank you Shin for this blog and for all of the memories you leave us. I am deeply saddened with your passing, but I am so honored and grateful to have been a part of your life.

You will always be in my heart.

Love, Christine

Christine Raza said...

I wish I could write something to say how I feel - something eloquent or thought provoking. But that is not me. That is Shin. So I will continue to read her blog over and over and hope that some of her lessons and laughter rub off on me.

Thank you Shin for this blog and for all of the memories you leave us. I am deeply saddened with your passing, but I am so honored and grateful to have been a part of your life.

You will always be in my heart.

Love, Christine

peto said...

... been wanted to share with you on nadya's progress but could not get myself to write anything since i lost my mum last month to the inexplicable hospital.

The "0 comments" really got me worried and I felt you deserves as much rest and time with your loving family and friends.

Tony, not sure what to advise you but I know you will be stronger as ever.

Spending time with nadya and natasha works for me and i'm sure both Josie and Toby will bring you abundant joy together with the "Shinsmile"!

Take care!

Anonymous said...

Shin shared the ultimate with us for as many who would read and listen. I suspect she also was like that in person. We all learned a lot from her about how to live and die. She gave as few others have given. Even in the sadness that we feel, I think we also feel the joy she shared and wanted us to have. True life is ambiguous.

All my sympathies are with you today.

Anonymous said...

Dear Shin,
Your love and dedication to your family and the society has moved me. I grieved that such a lovely person like you left us. Nonetheless, I admired your courage and, as a result, I have made up my mind to follow your footstep. I will, just like you, pledge my body for research, transplant and education.

Tony, Josie and Toby, I will always remember you all in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Tony. Instead of sending flowers, I'd like to donate money to a cancer research charity. I think this is what Shin would have wanted. Did she have a prefered charity? It may not be a bad idea to let other blog readers know as I expect there are hundreds of people out there who may want to do something. Mel xxxx

Shin said...


You are very right about Shin and flowers. She would so much rather a donation be made to one of her causes.

Michelle is quickly organizing a post to suggest where to donate to in lieu of flowers.


kajia said...

Dear Tony,

I have been checking Shin's blog several times a day. Like most of your family, I knew this day would come, still my heart sank when I learnt the news.

It is not hard to imagine what you have gone through. My mom died of breast cancer at 41. I witnessed how my father helped my mom through the battle.

Please take care of yourself.

elims Chuang 光宏 said...

Is quite late for me to come here. But just wish to drop by and say, thank you for coming to this world, and sharing your story. Thanks thanks thanks.