I would like to take a moment here to explain to you the enormous help provided to us by the Assisi Palliative Home Care doctors and nurses. We would NOT have been able to cope in those last four weeks without them. I am writing about them for two reasons. Firstly to say thank you to them and to show publicly our huge appreciation for all they did for us, and secondly to tell those of you who may one day need this kind of help, just how valuable it is. I honestly never thought we would need this support. I wish someone had told me.
Carol (Tony's mum) and I spent days phoning and visiting hospices and home care teams in Singapore to work out which would be best for Shin. We chose Assisi partly because of its quality hospice facilities and flexible entry rules. But mostly because of the passion and good feeling we felt while we were there. The lady who was the face of the organisation was the primary reason for our final decision because of the warmth and comfort she gave us in representing Assisi.
From the first time a doctor and nurse arrived at our home to the very last visit we had, we received nothing but love, compassion, understanding, professionalism and quality advice. Their primary objective was to make sure Shin was comfortable, no matter what.
And believe it or not, this service is FREE to all Singaporeans.
We used a combination of morphine, midazolam and haloperidal to help reduce/remove Shin's pain and breathing problems and they constantly adjusted the levels of each to get them just right. They took the time to explain to us what to expect at each step. They treated Shin with respect. They treated us with respect.
Tony and I will write more about what we, and Shin experienced through the last couple of weeks. I hope that all of this is helping or will help others.
Thank you to everyone at the Memorial Service who donated so generously to Assisi, we raised just short of $5,000 which has been passed to Assisi in honor of Shin.
Thank you Assisi, for everything you did for Shin. She is a special person and she deserved such professionalism and love.
Michelle.
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5 comments:
That's amazing! Thanks Michelle, for sharing that. Shin had talked about it in her blog previously, but this certainly gives us a complete picture of those last weeks.
That's marvellous! Marvellous that there's Assisi Palliative Home Care professionals who help not only Shin but her love ones. Marvellous that donation are raised and in honour of Shin. :)
This will create awareness because I am sure many don't know about this professional help or that they are so responsible and caring professionals.
Thanks Michelle and Tony that both of you decided to write more.
Are you still in s'pore? Hope you can visit Tony, Josie and Toby more often. :) Is nice knowing you and Alicia.
I too agree that it is an excellent service. My mother who died from breast cancer was provided with this service. The problem is that there are many who cannot accept their impending death or death of their loved ones. As such, doctors and those in the know may not readily recommend the use of such a service.
Hi,
I get to know this blog from a local Mandarin counselling web which wrote a Chinese article on Shin. I was impressed. Thanks Shin and her families and the care team. All the best to all of you forever.
---Lim.
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http://mandarincounsellingsg.blogspot.com/2009/02/blog-post_12.html
2009年2月12日 星期四
没有遗体的追悼会
曾经在去年11月10日“生死一线勇敢抗癌”一文中称许的韩裔永久居民“信” (Shin Na)于上月27日下午离开了人世。
但在亚洲文明博物馆举行的追悼会场却没有遗体，因为她把自己的身躯捐给医疗研究，成为在MTERA计划下，我国每年仅有的6至9个捐赠者之一！然而，在她的感召下，已经有更多人发愿加入。
据报导，信的丈夫说:“她一贯关注环保、再循环，节省能源和帮助他人。所以死去后和活着时一样，我想她很高兴能帮助别人。她告诉孩子们说，这些研究可能会找到癌症的治疗方法，能帮助其他的母亲。”
结识信10年并在最后陪伴照顾的好友米雪则指出：“失去了信这个人，有没有遗体已不重要。她也不愿大家围绕着她的遗体哀伤。”
坚强豁达的信直到去世前十天依然亲自撰写她的抗癌博客，而她和丈夫在最后关注的是怎样对孩子谈死亡。他们决定尽早告知真相，信的丈夫表示：“我跟他们说，妈妈生了重病，如果治不好，可能会死去，但是我们会尽力把妈妈的病治好。”；而且确保孩子不会以为妈妈的死和自己有关，所以信在博客里提及当孩子爬过她身上时，她不忍心喊痛，孩子拉她跑着去看些东西时，她也不敢喘得太厉害……。
还要保证的是安全感：“自从我的病复发以来，我每天晚上哄女儿睡觉时都会告诉她我爱她，我会永远在她心里。我把手放在她心脏的部位上，我知道我会永远活在那里，即使我已经不在了。我甚至考验她看她是否了解了，问她我不在的时候我会在哪里？她说，在我的心里，妈妈。”
她的丈夫说：“信离开当天，我告诉孩子，妈妈走了，但是爸爸、奶奶和叔叔阿姨依旧会照顾你们。”
信由三年前罹患乳癌，到接受慈怀护理，面对死亡等过程，一再示现了她的勇敢、智慧、乐观与慈悲，非常值得敬佩！
而死亡的确是一大课题，让人们事先学习了很多，准备了很多，但到头来也可能会感觉遗漏了更多，而倍感遗憾！又常在自己以为渐渐能释怀时，逢年过节又再勾引起无限的悲伤。
如果您是一位孀居妇女，愿意谈谈新年里的一些感触，譬如：最想与丈夫分享的事？如果他还在，会有什么不同？也让我们一起制作卡片，把最诚挚的祝福送给他！欢迎您来参加今天下午茶会，换个心情！
时间：2月12日星期四下午2：30～4：30
地点：雅乐妇友会，Wings, Bishan Place (Junction 8 office tower) #06-05
免费参加，但请事先报名，电话：6250 1012
Posted by Fid Counselling Society at 上午9:09
Labels: 活动讯息, 身心灵
2 comments:
匿名说...
认识“信”是因为不久前看了她的电视访谈，当时就被她的勇气和作为感动万分。最近在报章看到了她去世的消息，以及她把身躯捐出来作为医学研究的用途，我再次被感动。
现在，看到这篇博客撰文，我第三次被感动。
“信”走了，但她的事迹，总是一次又一次触动着我。
请问有没有她的网址？
2009年2月12日 下午8:13
Fid Counselling Society 说...
“信”的网站：
http://shinscancerblog.blogspot.com/
目前她的博客还在运作，由好友和丈夫执笔，里头提及妈妈去世后，孩子的一些反应非常真实，读来令人不舍，但也更钦服他们认真、小心对待，企图把伤害降到最低的处理过程，在自己悲恸的情况下可以这么冷静、周全，实在很难能可贵！
大家一定要上去看看！
感谢您的提问:)
2009年2月13日 下午12:52
ehh.. good style :))
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